Blocked
by scarlettfire
Summary: Their first time does not go as planned, and now they must rebuild from there. Only time and a LOT of patience will get them where they need and want to be.
1. Chapter 1

**EDIT: I don't want my reviews to be lost and I don't want ff to delete me, so I've removed everything I figured was too graphic and that's what's staying here. If you want to read the story with the smut still in it, please follow the following link. Remove the spaces:**

scarlettfire13 . livejournal 1784 . html

**If you don't, that's okay. I tried to be as gentle with the changes as possible.**

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><p><strong>DISCLAIMER: I own my own thoughts only.<strong>

**AN: This is a fill from the Glee Kink Meme:**

**"**_Their first time wasn't perfect. In fact, it was everything but perfect. They were too nervous, too fast and it really hurt, Kurt almost cried, because it hurt so much, and Blaine was scared and shocked, and they stopped. Blaine tried to comfort Kurt, kissing him apologies all over his body, but Kurt didn't stop shaking and crying, because it had hurt, because he was embarrassed, because he felt so sorry for Blaine, for doing this to him, for making him feel guilty. They just cuddle, nothing more, no comforting handjobs, just cuddling._

_Kurt's scared of having sex, of the pains, of disappointing Blaine. For Blaine's sake, they still try it, one time or maybe even several times, and even when they're both in the mood, and Blaine actually thinks, now it's going to happen, and Kurt thinks that for a moment, too, suddenly the fear is back, and he feels so embarrassed, and turns away from Blaine, and cries silently. But Blaine just wraps his arms around him, reassuring him, It's fine, It's okay, We're going to be okay, We'll find a way, and many many I love you's._

_They start from the very beginning, and they go very slow. Blaine tries his best, and only thinks about making Kurt feel best. Blaine's got the idea of letting Kurt top. He talked to Kurt the next day, and Kurt hesitantly agrees. When it's time, Kurt's about to retreat, because he remembers the pains he's going to give Blaine, but Blaine reassures him that he really really wants this._

_Long story short: Kurt and Blaine fail their first time, Blaine tries to hush Kurt's fears, and suggests Kurt to top._

_Bonus:_  
><em>- Kurt doesn't even masturbate after their failed first time, because he always sees the disappointment in Blaine's eyes in front of him.<em>  
><em>- Blaine worshipping Kurt to just make Kurt feel good. (Kurt doesn't realise this at first, because all Blaine does is making him come, even though Blaine's hard in his pants, too, and then Kurt's helping him out as well.)<em>  
><em>- When Blaine gets the idea of letting Kurt top, he first fingers himself to actually try it out, and he really really likes it.<em>  
><em>- Kurt rides Blaine in the end, some time after their successful first time.<em>**"**

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><p>It was perfect, absolutely perfect and all Kurt had ever dreamed it would be, until Blaine started prepping him. Then the rose coloured glasses started coming off because that HURT.<p>

"Are you okay?" Blaine's asked in a shaky voice.

"Keep going." Kurt nodded even as pain was radiating up his spine. He'd read it hurt the first time but that it would go away. Blaine followed orders and Kurt bit his lip so hard to keep from screaming he nearly bit through his lip. "More lube." Kurt gasped and Blaine apologized and stopped, leaving the most horrible burn Kurt had ever felt.

When his fingers came back it was a little better, more slippery and it burned less. Kurt took a few deep breathes, trying to relax and stop thinking about how much this was hurting. Then Blaine's fingers were gone. "Are you ready? I think you are?" Blaine's shaky voice asked and Kurt peeled his eyes open to look at his boyfriend. He looked a bit like Kurt felt, sort of terrified but determined to do this anyway. It was supposed to feel good, if it didn't than why did so many people do it?

Kurt nodded quickly and clamped his teeth down on his lips to prepare. As Blaine lined up Kurt repeated the word 'relax' as a mantra in his head, trying to do it. Then Blaine started moving and he was going way too fast and "AHH!" Kurt screamed in pain.

That made Blaine stop, "Kurt?" He asked and Kurt only sobbed. "Kurt? Are you okay?"

"Get it out, get it out." Kurt sobbed. "Get it out." Tears were pooling in his eyes and he didn't care enough about them to stop their overflowing. All he wanted was for the pain to stop. Blaine pulled away quickly, too quickly because even THAT hurt and Kurt sobbed harder.

"Kurt…?" Blaine touched his shoulder and Kurt turned away. He grabbed onto the pillow beneath his head and curled around it, away from Blaine. He buried his head in the pillow.

That fucking hurt! It hurt so bad he could still feel it and that made him cry harder. Distantly he heard Blaine's voice, filled with tears for the second time that night, and Kurt felt a wave of guilt run through him. Why did he have to have this stupid idea? They could have been at the cast after party but now he was curled up and crying on Blaine's bed and Blaine was somewhere behind him having a reaction Kurt couldn't get out of his own head enough to observe. Another bout of hysterical sobbing washed over him.

The whole night was ruined, their whole first time. He'd ruined it because he was a baby who couldn't take a little pain and now… now he'd probably traumatized his boyfriend and they were never going to do anything again. Blaine probably wouldn't even want to kiss him anymore now. OH, what if Blaine didn't even want to be with him anymore? What if Blaine decided Kurt was so bad at this he should go find somebody who was better, somebody who wouldn't turn into a hysterical mess and…

Kurt flipped himself over and hissed at the pain. It wasn't enough however to stop him from letting go of the pillow and latching onto Blaine. "Blaine." Kurt whined. "Don't leave me, I'm sorry I messed it up."

Blaine gasped, Kurt heard it through his chest. "Kurt," It was rumbley when Blaine talked. "Kurt, YOU messed up? No, baby, I messed up, I messed up SO bad." Blaine's arms circled him tightly and he shifted down so Kurt's head was beside his on the pillow. "Kurt, I'm SO sorry."

Kurt blinked at Blaine and, through his own tears, noticed the wetness in Blaine's. "You're crying."

"I hurt you, of course I'm crying." Blaine let out a humorless, breathy laugh. "I never want to hurt you but I keep doing it." His hands started stroking down Kurt's back. "I'm SO sorry, Kurt. Please don't leave ME." Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt, closing his wet eyes and letting out unsteady breathes. "I don't ever want you to leave me."

Kurt's eyes let out more tears, softer now, without sobs racking his chest. He still hurt, but he wanted Blaine more than he hurt. He snuggled into his boyfriend. "I love you." Kurt offered and Blaine held him tighter.

"You're shaking." Blaine said after a while. He wriggled until he could move and kissed below Kurt's ear. "And you're still crying."

"I'm sorry." Kurt sniffled.

"I love you." Blaine kissed the corner of Kurt's eye, stopping a tear from trailing down his face. "I love you so much. You don't have to be sorry."

"I still am." Kurt closed his leaking eyes and let Blaine push him back a little. He hissed when his sore ass hit the bed, but it wasn't so bad anymore. The worst of it had passed it seemed. He'd probably be sore for a while, but he could deal with this level of pain for now. Blaine kissed down his neck and Kurt sighed.

Then Blaine moved to his chest and Kurt tensed up. "Don't… don't try anything, I don't want to, please, Blaine." Kurt grabbed at Blaine's hair.

"Why don't we put pants on or something?" Blaine suggested. "I just want to kiss you, not… not anything else."

"Okay." Kurt nodded and tried to sit up but Blaine pushed him back down.

"Just… just let me take care of you okay? I need… I need to feel like I helped more than hurt tonight." Blaine sniffled and Kurt noticed the tears still trailing softly down his face.

"Okay." Kurt nodded. Blaine got their pants and helped Kurt into his. The awkwardness of that made both of them laugh a little and when Blaine settled down next to him and started kissing him Kurt felt calmer. There was still an edge of hysteria, but it was distant and if he tried to ignore it, focusing instead on Blaine's mouth, he almost couldn't tell it was there.

Neither of them stopped crying for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**EDIT: See chapter 1.  
>Also, I figured I might as well take this opportunity to beta myself.<strong>

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><p>They woke up around five in the morning, way before Blaine's alarm would have woken them up on a weekday and MUCH too early for the Saturday that it was. Blaine was pressed lightly up against Kurt's back. "Morning, Kurt." Blaine mumbled and kissed the back of Kurt's neck softly. He was still really tired; they hadn't slept much the night before, too wrung out from their failed experience to relax enough.<p>

"Morning," Kurt mumbled sleepily and rolled over slowly. He tensed a little when he landed flat on his back but continued anyway. Sleep warm hands found Blaine's bare chest under the covers. Even if the night before sucked, it was still nice to wake up with his boyfriend like this, to be so close to him.

Blaine leaned in for a kiss but Kurt turned away. Suddenly the warm feeling was gone and Blaine felt transported into the night before, Kurt's pained face appearing in front of his eyes. "Ku…" The name died on his lips. He turned away, sat up to get out of the bed.

"Blaine," Kurt called after him. "Blaine, I…"

"I'm going to make breakfast." Blaine forced his voice to come out steady. "Just… You can do... Like take a shower or something if you want - or brush your teeth…" He stood up and the urge to look at Kurt was almost too much.

"Blaine…" Kurt tried again and he sounded SO sad, Blaine HATED sad Kurt, he had to look. Kurt was sitting on his bed, blankets pooled around his hips, chest bare and beautiful, face set so sad. "Don't… don't go."

"I was just going to make…" Blaine trailed off, Kurt looked so distraught.

"I love you." Kurt reached a hand out for him and Blaine found himself being pulled back into the bed. "I love you." Kurt promised and kissed Blaine's mouth. "I love you." He kissed harder.

A very familiar heat awoke in Blaine, but with it came fear and guilt, it was too soon for this. He pulled Kurt off him and shook his head. "I love you too, but it's too soon right now."

Kurt deflated against him, head landing against Blaine's neck. "Thank you," Kurt whispered.

"It's okay. I told you I wanted you comfortable, well… I want me comfortable too."

"Understood." Kurt nodded, his nose brushing the sweet spot on Blaine's neck. "I love you so much, Blaine, you have no idea."

"I think I might." Blaine forced out a laugh, trying desperately to lighten the mood. "How about I actually go make breakfast now, I'm actually really hungry."

Kurt laughed and it sounded genuine. "Okay, and I think I'm going to take a bath. Your bath does work right, it's not just decoration?"

"It works fine." Blaine wiggled until he could nuzzle the top of Kurt's head.

"Bring breakfast up to me?" Kurt asked quietly, voice full of nerves.

"In the bath? Scandalous my dear," Blaine joked. "Of course." He kissed the top of Kurt's head and slipped out of bed again. "I'll be up in about ten minutes I think."

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><p>Kurt's ass HURT still. Not as bad as last night, and not nearly as bad as he was expecting, but the pain hadn't just magically gone away. However, after a few minutes in the hot bath water he was already feeling better.<p>

Kurt was playing with the bubbles he'd found under Blaine's sink when said boy waltzed in with a tray of food. Blaine set it down on the placemat and sat with his back to wall right next to the tub. "So, for your dinning pleasure, I have an egg sandwich." Blaine pointed to a lopsided thing. "It's egg whites, because I know you care about that kind of stuff, but we don't have whole wheat anything because Mom thinks it tastes like cardboard so the English muffin is just a regular one. I didn't know if you wanted salt and pepper or ketchup or something else though. I realized I've never seen you eat breakfast. You do like eggs right?"

"I do." Kurt nodded. They weren't his favorite, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Thank you."

Blaine held out a small hand towel as Kurt sat up straighter in the tub. "I figured you'd want dry hands." He said by way of explanation. Kurt took it gratefully and dried off his hands. "Anything on it?"

"Just some pepper," Kurt answered and watched Blaine sprinkle it on. "Thank you."

They sat in the bathroom eating quietly for a while. It was kind of nice, if unconventional. Kurt hadn't expected Blaine to bring the food in here. "So, the other door, that's your brother's room?" Kurt asked when he was done. "I've always wondered."

"Yeah." Blaine nodded. "It is."

"Oh… where is he? And you're parents? I forgot to ask last night, I just sort of assumed…" Kurt trailed off.

"Well my brother's never home. Dad comes home on Saturday mornings and Mom had a story in Cincinnati this weekend, so they're staying over there," Blaine answered and stuck the last of his own breakfast in his mouth.

"Where's your dad the rest of the week?" Kurt asked. They had never really spent much time at Blaine's house, too used to using Kurt's, they were only just now getting into the habit of visiting the Anderson household.

"His office is in Cincinnati. We used to live over there, but then my grandma died and we got this house. My parents decided to keep our old apartment and Dad uses it when he goes in to the office. He only has to be there Wednesday through Friday though, so he works from home the rest of the time," Blaine answered.

"So that's why I never see him," Kurt mused. "Alright, I think I'm pruning. Time to get out."

"One day I wanna get in there with you." Blaine laughed and started gathering the remains of their breakfast.

"Just don't try to drag me into a hot tub." Kurt shrugged.

"Why?"

"Long story."


	3. Chapter 3

**EDIT: See chapter 1**

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><p>They spent the morning on Blaine's living room couch watching sappy movies. Kurt flinched initially when they sat down but pulled Blaine to him to hide the reaction. Somewhere in the middle of the first movie Kurt ended up with his legs draped over Blaine's lap and an arm over his boyfriend's shoulders. Blaine snuggled into his arm and Kurt sighed.<p>

This was nice and comfortable, the ideal morning really. He pressed a kiss to Blaine's temple. Blaine was such a good boyfriend, he was so lucky to have gotten him. "I love you," he whispered into Blaine's ear.

"I love you too," Blaine answered. They fell silent after that, watching the movie through and not moving to stop thee credits from rolling up the screen. Kurt got up to change the movie and settled back into his spot mostly on top of Blaine when he was done. Blaine accepted him with open arms, sighing happily and grinning an exaggeratedly dopey grin as he pulled Kurt back down. He nuzzled his head into Kurt's shoulder. "That's better," he said almost too quietly for Kurt to hear.

This movie was one Blaine liked more than Kurt did, and so Kurt got bored. He took one of Blaine's hands between his and started tracing patterns and shapes. "So we're alright?" Blaine asked after a while.

Kurt stopped tracing his name on Blaine's palm. "What?"

"Us?" Blaine asked and Kurt lifted an eyebrow. "Last night, it didn't… it didn't mess US up did it? We're alright?"

Kurt opened his mouth and then closed it, let out a breath. "Blaine…" The younger boy's eyes turned away. "We're fine," Kurt said quickly. "I just… why would you think we weren't?" Why would he think that? Did he NOT think they were okay?

"No, I don't!" Blaine said quickly. "I was just making sure YOU agree with me."

"Oh…" Kurt nodded, but now an idea he hadn't even considered before was festering in his head. "Okay." He knew he sounded unsure.

"Yeah, I just… we messed up this time and we'll have another chance to… to make it right." Now Blaine sounded unsure.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded quickly, proud when his voice sounded surer than he felt. "We will."

"Okay… okay, so… so we're fine." Blaine nodded and reached up to kiss Kurt's lips.

Despite the easy atmosphere from before, and the way Blaine was relaxing beneath him, Kurt couldn't help but stay a little tense. They were going to try again, but what if it hurt just the same and didn't get any better?

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><p>At eleven Blaine's cell phone started blowing up with anxious and annoying calls from his costar. Rachel demanded that he show up at the theatre a full hour early and Blaine wasn't really in the mood to fight her. He kissed Kurt goodbye and went to face the tiny music maker.<p>

"I did it," she announced when he got to their makeup table. "Not for my part of course, I tried that before and it failed. It really was the wrong way to go about it and I'm much happier it happened this way, more organically if you'd like to call it that. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know. I hope my not being a virgin anymore won't intimidate you, I'm sure it will help my performance immensely. Just think, we were so good last night, and now I'll be even better. I've got the love of my life, AND we've done the deed. My Maria will be absolutely PERFECT today. I'm willing to help coach you if you think you'll need it."

Blaine just blinked at her. "Um, so good night?" he asked.

"Very good." She nodded sagely. "Though I was surprised it didn't hurt more, everything I've read said it would hurt more."

Blaine felt sick suddenly. "I'm… I need to use the bathroom." He ran.

Guilty tears were blocking up his eyes when he got to the bathroom. He tipped his head back and tried to imagine his eyes sucking the moisture back up. He couldn't cry about this again, if Kurt found out he'd probably start crying too. And as much as Blaine thought Kurt was beautiful when he cried, he HATED when the other boy did so. It meant he was too sad to hold it in anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**EDIT: See chapter 1**

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><p>They avoided the subject for the next few days, completely avoided talking about it or anything that even remotely related to it. The play kept them busy enough that they didn't have a chance to even go on a date if they didn't plan carefully. Neither of them expended the effort to, simply stealing moments at school, in public, where they were forced to be chaste. Kurt kissed Blaine gently on the lips, after making sure no one was looking, before he left after school every day, leaving Blaine to rehearsal.<p>

Then it was the last Sunday matinee and they were out of excuses. "Hi," Blaine said, face freshly cleaned of makeup and clothes still a little disheveled. "Do you, um… do you want to go with everybody?"

"Cast party?" Kurt cringed internally; they'd skipped it last time and, well… It had ended horribly and Kurt swallowed. Blaine nodded and his eyes were sparkling a little and Kurt was suddenly transported back to opening night, before they'd left the stage. Blaine had looked so sad and then so hopeful, like what Kurt had said meant the world to him.

"I know… I know last time we skipped and that didn't go well, I'm not expecting a repeat, I'm REALLY not," Blaine said quickly and Kurt was sucked back into the moment. "I just… I've missed you, we haven't had much time together recently and I miss you." A warm, calloused hand smoothed down his forearm, fingers reaching to tangle with his.

Kurt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Okay, we'll go somewhere together," he agreed. "But I don't want to go with everyone; I want to be alone with you somewhere."

Blaine sucked in a sharp, shallow breath. "Where?"

"I don't know, we'll find a restaurant," Kurt answered.

"Okay." Then Blaine fidgeted, rocking forward and then back, hesitating. "Okay." He said again and seemed to make up his mind, surging forward and pulling Kurt to him tightly. "Okay."

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><p>After that the… the AWKWARDNESS with which they'd been dealing with each other, the HESITANCE, was gone. They stayed out until curfew and made out in Kurt's car for a good twenty minutes. Blaine didn't try to climb into Kurt's lap like he usually did, but that was okay. He didn't want to push it, push THEM, and if that meant his body stayed on the passenger's side of the car, he was FINE with that.<p>

There was a little mishap when he tried to get closer to Kurt and propped himself up on the armrest. He slipped and almost fell into Kurt's lap, but they both laughed about it until they were kissing desperately again.

Blaine counted it a good night.

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><p>Kurt was flying high when he got home from their Sunday night date. He forced himself to wait until he got to his room to sigh dreamily and let his imagination run wild, but only because he didn't want to crash his car.<p>

The moment he got to his room he flopped onto his bed and wiggled until he was comfortable. The taste of Blaine's lips was still on his and he couldn't stop licking them, reveling in the tingle and slightly chapped feeling.

He jumped a little when his phone rang, but answered Blaine's call quickly.

"I'm going to bed now, do you want to do our routine now, or should I just go to sleep before you?" Blaine asked.

"No, just let me get up, I'll do it with you," Kurt insisted and inside he fluttered. They hadn't done their nightly routine for the duration of the play, but now they were back to it and Kurt couldn't be happier.

"Facetime with me?" Blaine asked hopefully, like he usually did.

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but don't get used to it."

"I've seen every bit of you and I still love you more than I can express, I seriously doubt I'll think twice about my feelings after seeing you smear creams all over your face. Besides, I might have been hungover that one time, but you KNOW I saw you a little. I told you I still remember, even if it's hazy." Blaine laughed.

Kurt gasped quietly, but he didn't think Blaine had heard. "I know," he said instead of pointing out what Blaine had said. It was true though, Blaine had seen him naked, and in a bath, they really weren't hiding anything from each other anymore.

"Victory!" Blaine cheered and Kurt laughed at his dumb boyfriend.

Kurt was the one who ended up laughing; Blaine looked ridiculous in the headband he needed to hold back his gel-free hair. Blaine pouted at him and made puppy eyes until Kurt apologized, even if he still giggled a little at him the rest of their call.

"Goodnight, Kurt, I love you." Blaine promised and blew a kiss.

"I love you too, night Blaine." Kurt blew one right back.

He changed into his pajamas, locked his bedroom door (Finn still slept walked sometimes and he wasn't used to the new house enough yet to successfully find his way around asleep), and shut off all his lights. Kurt sighed into his mattress, more relaxed and comfortable than he'd been since the play opened. "Blaine." He murmured, loving the way his boyfriend's name sounded on his lips.

Slowly he reached a hand down to his crotch and rubbed lightly. He felt good, better than he'd felt in two weeks, and Blaine's smile was fresh in his mind. Kurt pushed his hand into his pants.

The first touch was electric and Kurt held in a moan. His eyes slid shut and Blaine's face lit up his imagination. Blaine's kisses had felt SO good, so RIGHT, on his skin. His hands had burned pathways down Kurt's sides and he dragged the memories to the forefront of his mind. Everything had been perfect, so PERFECT.

Suddenly phantom pain flared in him and Kurt nearly yelped out loud. His eyes shot open as his imagined image of Blaine's smiling, sexy face changed to one full of hurt and guilt. Suddenly he felt sick, sicker even than he had that night, and the hand on himself felt acidic and painful. He jerked it away, stomach rolling at the feeling that went through him at the motion.

Kurt whined and rolled over in his bed, stifling tears and trying desperately to recapture the happy feeling he'd had ten minutes prior.


	5. Chapter 5

**EDIT: See chapter 1  
><strong>**Though I honestly haven't had to change MUCH yet. I'll warn for when a big change happens.**

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><p>Blaine got to school a little earlier than usual on Monday specifically so he could catch Kurt in the parking lot. They usually parked near each other, in the back corner of the lot, so they could see each other first thing in the morning and last thing before heading home. Blaine only had to wait five minutes for Kurt to appear.<p>

He opened the car door and slipped out once Kurt was safely parked. "Kurt," he called. Kurt climbed out of his car, head popping up over the top. "I got you coffee."

Kurt sighed and trotted around the car to him. "Good morning to you too." He smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss, fingers wrapping around the cup in Blaine's right hand.

"I love you." Blaine sighed happily.

"I love you too," Kurt murmured against his lips. Then he pulled away, taking his coffee with him. "How'd you sleep?"

"Very well. You?"

Kurt bit his lip and pulled a face. "I kind of… I think we should go out on a date tonight. Well, not so much OUT, more like IN."

Blaine's heartbeat sped. "What?"

"I want to have sex with you again," Kurt said softly.

Blaine gasped. "You…do?"

Kurt nodded shyly looking away. "My dad's got a campaign dinner tonight that he's going to, Carole's going with him. We should have a few hours alone."

"Okay?" Blaine's voice came out much too high and squeaked. "I mean," he said, forcing his voice lower, "I mean okay. Yes. I'll come over."

"Okay." Kurt nodded. "Okay, good."

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><p>Kurt's insides were squirming and he had to remind himself to breathe. It was ridiculous, he shouldn't have been feeling like he was, but… but his stomach was flipping and bubbling and Kurt couldn't help it. His imagination kept skipping ahead to his alone time with Blaine, and then further to NAKED alone time with Blaine, and everything would go well, until he'd remember how much it hurt.<p>

FUCK it had hurt! Kurt rubbed absentmindedly at his backside for a second before he caught himself. It was going to be okay, tonight it was going to be okay. They were going to replace his bad memories, THEIR bad memories, and it was going to be FINE.

FINE.

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><p>Blaine was nervous, ridiculously so, but he still rang Kurt's doorbell at the appointed time. He smoothed his shirt, sparing a thought on if he should have picked that one, and waited.<p>

"Hi," Kurt said shyly when he opened the door.

"Hi," Blaine returned. "Um." He fidgeted for a moment before leaning in for a quick kiss. This was weird. It felt like sex was the only reason he'd come over, like… He burst out laughing.

"What?" Kurt asked. He stood to the side to let Blaine in.

"Nothing." Blaine shook his head. Just, this was a booty call. His first.

"Okay?" Kurt frowned.

"Do you want to, um… Should we go upstairs?" Blaine bit his lip.

"Yeah." Kurt nodded. He reached for Blaine's hand and Blaine gave it to him. Holding Kurt's hand always felt so right, it was calming even.

They walked up the stairs silently, and it wasn't their usual comfortable silence. This still felt awkward. As they turned down the hallway to Kurt's room Blaine pulled his hand out of Kurt's. Kurt immediately stopped, twirling around to face him with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Blaine shook his head. "This feels really weird." Kurt's eyes got even bigger. "Like a booty call, I don't really like it."

"I don't… You're not just here for…" Kurt trailed off and looked away.

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He literally had NO idea what to say, not even to bullshit something. He closed his mouth. Kurt sighed, his entire posture deflating before Blaine's eyes. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I did just call you here for…"

"No, I…" He still didn't know what to say.

"I made this weird, I'm sorry." Kurt's voice hitched. "I'm sorry."

"Kurt." He reached out for his boyfriend hesitantly. Kurt didn't move away as Blaine's hand settled on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I'm bad at this, I don't want to be. I HATE this." Kurt sniffled and his eyes were threatening tears. Blaine hoped he wouldn't cry, maybe prayed just a little. Kurt sucked in a shaky breath. "I want to be good for you."

Blaine surged forward, wrapping Kurt up in his arms. He still didn't know what to say, but hopefully just holding Kurt would be enough. "You're MORE than good enough for me," Blaine insisted. It sounded like the right thing, and it DEFINITELY was true.

Kurt sucked in a few more deep breaths and buried his head against Blaine's shoulder. His shoulder remained dry.

Blaine rubbed Kurt's back soothingly, even daring to reach up and play with Kurt's hair. After a while Kurt started relaxing, taking normal breaths. Blaine turned his face and kissed Kurt's temple, burrowed his fingers a little deeper in Kurt's soft hair.

"You're lucky I love you, otherwise I'd cut off your fingers." Kurt laughed a little against him and Blaine relaxed. Tension he hadn't even been aware of released him and he melted against Kurt.

"I'm so lucky." Blaine kissed Kurt's temple again.

"I feel better now." Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's shoulder playfully. He did that sometimes, and he usually followed it with a line of sloppy kisses up to Blaine's ear. True to form, Kurt began to mouth at his neck. Blaine sighed and leaned his lean away to give Kurt more room to work him over.

"I'm glad," Blaine said. "I like you better when you're happy."

"I like me better too." Kurt got to his ear and nipped lightly at the lobe. "How about we make out in my room?" He tugged on it gently with his teeth and Blaine's fingers tightened in his hair automatically.

"Okay," Blaine agreed. "But we'll be doing what we want, no pressure. I don't expect anything, Kurt. I just love being in your presence."

"Oh," Kurt pulled away from his ear. "Well, Mr. Anderson, I have some expectations. They primarily involve you, shirtless, on my bed."

Blaine blushed and his mouth was suddenly dry. "I can get down with that."

"I hoped you say that." Kurt smiled. "Well, the sentiment, I might have been hoping for different phrasing."

"You love my phrasing." Blaine mock glared and gave Kurt a light push. "Let's go make out on your bed." He dropped his hands to Kurt's and they wound their fingers together. They finished the trek to the bedroom with Blaine's nerves much easier than they had been when it started.


	6. Chapter 6

**EDIT: See chapter 1  
>This chapter has the most changes so far.<strong>

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><p>They didn't do much more than shirtless making out that day, only some light grinding that really wasn't for the purpose of getting off. Instead it was a slow rocking, just the pressing of their bodies together to remind each other that, yes, it was okay to touch everywhere.<p>

Blaine left Kurt feeling more satisfied than he ever had before, true his hard on was still present and untouched, but as he climbed into his car and rested his head against the steering-wheel he had a smile on his face. It was going to be okay, truthfully and fully.

That night on the phone, after their skincare regime, they talked about Kurt's presidential speech for the next day. "Do you think it's alright?" Kurt asked after he finished reading it to Blaine.

"It think it's perfect," Blaine answered. He'd listened thoughtfully to most of it, but a little before the end Kurt's voice had dipped more than usual and Blaine had been distracted. What he'd heard of the speech, however, was genuinely good. "I'd vote for you if I could."

Kurt laughed. "You're my boyfriend; I'd have to break up with you if you didn't. That's no way to show support, mister."

Blaine loved Kurt's laugh, it made his heart beat just a little faster, always had. "I'd support anything you did."

"Anything?" Kurt's voice dipped low at the end and Blaine shivered. He LOVED Kurt's range, and Kurt's control over it, it made Blaine so hot. Sometimes he thought he could get off just by listening to Kurt talk to him.

"You know I would." Blaine answered.

"Good to know." Kurt laughed once, a breathy noise, and then hummed. "Blaine, I know I said I was ready today and I wasn't, but… but I think it'd be okay for us to try... SEX again." An adorably hot spike in Kurt's voice accompanied the word 'sex', more proof for Blaine's voice theory stirred in his pajama pants.

"Are you sure, Kurt?" Despite the sexiness that was Kurt's voice, and uneasy feeling still settled in Blaine's stomach.

"Yeah, I think so," Kurt answered. "I think… I was fine with you touching me everywhere today. Actually I wanted to take your pants off, but… yeah I think I'll be okay."

"You wanted my pants off?" Blaine squeaked. He honestly hadn't been thinking about it, focused instead on the feeling of Kurt's hot body over his.

"Yeah," Kurt admitted. "I did, towards the end. But then you had to go home, so I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay." Blaine nodded, they would definitely be trying again.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until after Santana's week that Kurt got any significant alone time with Blaine, he thought he might die of sexual frustration. He'd tried masturbating again that night, after he'd hung up with Blaine, but all he could feel was phantom pain. He'd tried again a few times, but the same thing happened. The only time he didn't think of the pain was when Blaine was with him, pressing him into the mattress or being pressed into it, lips hot on his skin and hands everywhere. He felt light and happy and horny at those times. If his rocking had gotten a little more urgent in the past weeks, he wasn't going to attempt stopping.<p>

It was a Sunday, Burt and Carole had went to some campaigning thing Mr. Schue had set up and Kurt had gently persuaded Finn out the door, reminding him of Rachel sitting all alone in her room because her fathers worked on Sundays. Finn left fairly quickly after Kurt reminded him of that. Once he was safely gone, Kurt called Blaine to let him know the coast was clear.

Blaine showed up in a button down, sans his usual bowtie, and his usual high waters. Kurt was still undecided on the high waters, it made Blaine's style old man-ish (complete with the too short shorts), but right then wasn't the time to think about it. If Kurt had his way, Blaine wouldn't be wearing anything soon, and naked was a fashion statement Kurt had DEFINITELY come to appreciate.

The journey to his room went a little slow, they couldn't stop kissing every few steps, but when they finally got into Kurt's room they fell on the bed easily. Kurt made quick work of Blaine's button down, smoothing his hands up the lovely exposed skin of his chest. He swooped down to kiss it, pressing his lips just above Blaine's belly button. Blaine giggled and hauled Kurt up so they could devour each other's lips.

Clothes were gone quickly, and Kurt reveled in all the naked, sunkissed skin. Blaine was naturally darker than him, and he'd only just lost the tan he'd picked up over the summer, faint lines on his arms showing the contrasting shades. Kurt kissed them as he pulled off Blaine's shirt, enjoying the way Blaine's breath hitched. Then he leaned back over Blaine's body and sucked Blaine's tongue into his mouth.

Slowly he lowered his body to Blaine's, moaning at the contact. In the past weeks he gotten somewhat used to being skin to skin with Blaine's chest, but it was nothing like this. As the feeligns washed over him Kurt realized he'd never been used to it at all, just aware of the way it felt and expectant, Kurt keened.

Blaine moaned loudly at Kurt's noise. "I love you, I love you," Blaine babbled and Kurt latched onto Blaine's neck. Blaine groaned louder. "Kurt, Kurt," There was such a desperate quality to his voice; it turned Kurt on SO much.

Without meaning to they were moving frantically; swallowing each other's moans and making Kurt's headboard tap lightly against the wall. "Blaine," Kurt moaned, the coil in his stomach tightening.

"Kurt, Kurt," Blaine panted, detaching his mouth from Kurt's neck. There was going to be one epic hickey there later. "I love you so much." Then he did a horrible thing and pushed at Kurt's shoulders until Kurt got the message and got onto his hands and knees so they weren't touching anymore.

"Why?" Kurt whined pitifully, head falling forward.

"Do you want, do you want to try?" Blaine asked and his hands migrated south. "Do you?"

"Yes," Kurt hissed, the thought of it was turning him on for once.

"I'll do it much better this time, baby, I promise. I'll make it so good for you." Blaine hooked a leg over Kurt's knee and rolled them over. "So good. You look beautiful like this, so handsome."

Kurt just whined, voice caught in his throat. His fingers clawed at Blaine's shoulder, hoisting him back on top of him so they could kiss forcefully. Once Blaine pulled his tongue out of Kurt's mouth Kurt took a big breath to try calming himself down. "Lube, drawer," he managed.

"Okay," Blaine said and kissed Kurt once more. Then he was leaning over him to get at the drawer. His side muscles stretched deliciously and Kurt couldn't help but nip at the space just under his arm. Faintly he remembered something Brittany had said about armpits, but the thought left him quickly when Blaine settled again.

Blaine's fingers were cold and wet when they touched him again.

Kurt held in a moan, suddenly afraid it would sound pained. When Blaine had touched him THERE, Kurt's stomach had seized painfully. He pushed the feeling away. He was going to do this.

Blaine's touch was light, careful. Kurt squirmed.

He squirmed away.

Blaine noticed. "Kurt?"

"What?" Kurt asked although he already knew. His stomach was flip flopping and his heart was speeding, coldness seeping through his body. He didn't want to do this.

"Are you okay?" Blaine applied gentle pressure. Kurt practically threw himself away from the touch. "That's a 'no'."

"Blaine," Kurt started, but his voice broke and he couldn't continue. Slowly Blaine moved towards him, arms outstretched. Kurt didn't flinch when Blaine's arms closed around him. Instead he turned in Blaine's embrace and buried his head in Blaine's neck.

"You're still afraid of that," Blaine noted. "Okay, we don't have to try it again, Kurt. We never have to try it ever again. We can just… stick to other stuff." Kurt didn't miss the slight disappointment in Blaine's voice. He trusted Blaine, knew his boyfriend would try to push this on him, but he also knew Blaine wanted this. This was something he couldn't give him, and it pained him to admit it. "It'll be alright, Kurt, I promise."

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered into Blaine's skin.

"It's okay, I love you. I love you so much, Kurt. I just want you comfortable. I've told you that before. I can only be comfortable when you are. If you don't want this, then… then we won't do it." Blaine said simply. "Do you want to put clothes on now, or just… just stay like this." Blaine arms tightened around him, a clear indication of Blaine's preference.

Kurt closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. His heart was still racing, and the beat of Blaine's heart was in his ears. Blaine's skin was sweaty and salty and Kurt loved the taste of it, the smell of him. He'd never thought he'd love sweat of any kind, but pretty much anything about Blaine Kurt loved. He pressed his lips to the skin closest to his mouth, letting his tongue peak out to taste it. Salty and good.

His insides stirred. The fire in him had died but just that one taste of Blaine and it reignited. He still wanted this.

"Neither," Kurt said. He kissed up to Blaine's ear quickly. "I want to keep going, doing 'other stuff' as you put it." He kissed the shell of Blaine's ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth for a moment. Blaine shuddered.

"Are you…" Blaine moaned and Kurt invaded Blaine's mouth with his tongue before the younger boy could finish talking. He pushed on Blaine's shoulders until they were horizontal again.

"I'm sure." Kurt licked the corner of Blaine's mouth and was rewarded with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt's hips pressed down and Blaine moaned. "I love you." Another shift down, harder this time. "I love you."

They were lost after that, rubbing against each other just as frantically as they had been before, fingers clutching and curling into skin, mouths pressed to whatever skin they could reach. They came like that, pressed together so tight they could only tell who was who by the tone of their skin.


	7. Chapter 7

**EDIT: See chapter 1  
><strong>**More minorly big changes happened here too.**

* * *

><p>They only get a few moments of complete privacy after that, most of their time taken up by Sectionals. Blaine was sort of used to having solo's by now, but the routine that went with it was a completely new animal, and unlike the play, he couldn't just try it again the next time if he got it wrong. He had one shot at it, and it kind of freaked him out. Then there was Kurt, who was EXSTATIC about finally getting a competition solo with New Directions.<p>

Instead they spent time doing what they'd done before intimacy had entered the equation, talking and LOTS of (mostly) chaste kisses. If hands wandered under shirts and Kurt had a sudden fascination with Blaine's back pockets, Blaine wasn't about to complain and ruin the mood.

The week after Sectionals was a breath of relief. Kurt managed to convince Burt that Friday night dinner could be moved to Breadstix so Blaine could come and they could go to a movie after. With the Blaine coming Finn insisted on having Rachel. Because he did like Rachel and it would get them where they wanted, Kurt fell behind Finn full-heartedly. Blaine kind of just watched it all happen, amazed at his boyfriend's persuasive techniques. It was different when it wasn't happening TO him.

"Oh, Blaine, I forgot to ask yesterday, how'd your math test go?" Burt asked at a lull in the conversation.

"Ninety eight, I missed a question, didn't carry the negative all the way down," Blaine answered.

"Ah, your hundred streak broke."

"I know, I'm kind of annoyed at myself."

"Eh, you'll remember next time." Burt took a bite of his salt-less food. "You're already in an advanced class anyway; I don't think anyone'll mind you getting one thing wrong."

"True," Blaine agreed easily. His annoyance wasn't really that strong.

"What about you, Kurt? Anything new?" Burt turned to his son.

"Um," Kurt looked to ceiling like he expected to find answers written there. "I have a French test on Tuesday. Oh, and I like the glee assignment this week. We have to do something out of our usual genre slash comfort zone. I'm really curious what everyone will pick."

Finn groaned. "I don't know what to do for it."

"We'll work on it when I get home from my date." Kurt promised.

"We could do a duet," Rachel suggested.

"It's supposed to be 'out of our comfort zone'. You'd have to do a duet with Mike or something for that to happen Rachel, seriously."

Rachel got a faraway look in her eye, considering. Blaine laughed at the way Kurt's face twisted into a huff at giving her the idea.

"So what are you gonna sing, Kurt?" Carole asked, starting the conversation back.

"I don't know yet, I'm thinking something Indie maybe. I'll have to raid Blaine's collection."

Blaine sighed, thinking of a song suddenly Kurt might like. "I have one to show you later. Come to my house tomorrow?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded.

* * *

><p>After dinner they went to the movie, or at least drove on the road to get there. They ACTUALLY stopped in the parking lot behind an old warehouse where they couldn't be seen from the road, especially with the blackness of Blaine's car factored in.<p>

Feeling a bit safe, they dared to make out in the back seat for two hours. The windows steamed up quickly with their bodies. Soon Kurt was pressed somewhat uncomfortably into the backseat as Blaine hovered over him, sucking marks down his chest and inching his fingers under the waistband of Kurt's jeans. When Blaine's fingers swiped under the button a third time Kurt finally eased a hand between them and undid it, pulling the zipper down quickly as well before he could change his mind.

Blaine pulled back from just below Kurt's left pec and stared into Kurt's eyes. "Sure?"

"Very," Kurt promised him.

"Understood." With that Blaine fitted his fingers more firmly under Kurt's waistband and started to pull down, Kurt lifted his hips as best he could to help. It was a bit awkward getting his pants off, Blaine had to actually get off him completely and Kurt had to help more than he'd thought so the offending things were finally off his legs, but if Blaine's hungry stare was anything to go by, it was totally worth it. Kurt reached for Blaine's pants to get them off but Blaine pushed on his shoulders until they were against the somewhat cold window. "I want to try something."

"What?"

"Can I… " Blaine blushed. "My mouth?" His voice shook a little when he asked, it sent thrill up and down Kurt's spine.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out except a high pitched squeak, instead he nodded frantically, eager to have Blaine's mouth on him.

Blaine sighed, tension leaving the set of his shoulders. "Thank you, Kurt," Blaine said. He licked his lips.

* * *

><p>When he was alone at night Kurt's very MALE figure was almost all he could think about. He'd felt bad thinking it when things had been so wrong with them, but it was now better and Kurt was GORGEOUS EVERYWHERE. He didn't know that was a real thing, he just thought it was hyperbole, but it wasn't apparently.<p>

Staring again, in person, made Blaine's mouth water. Without thinking much about any of the tips he'd read online, Blaine bent forward. He moaned at the salty taste.

Above him Kurt trashed, fingers digging harshly into the leather seat and headrest. Blaine opened his eyes, looking up Kurt's body to his face. Kurt's eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth dropped open, red stained high on his cheeks. He shouldn't have looked so good like that, he SHOULD have looked ridiculous, but he SO wasn't.

Blaine lost himself in the moment, eyes falling shut and images splashing the insides of his eyelids. Blaine hovering over Kurt, pressing him down. Kurt's draped across his back. That made Blaine's eyes roll back. The image changed so that Blaine was on his back, legs over Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt grabbed his hair then and PULLED Blaine away. Blaine stared until Kurt pulled him up so they could kiss. Blaine moaned and pressed himself against the length of Kurt until he tensed.

They kissed feverishly until their breath started to settle and the kisses turned lazy. "I love you," Kurt gasped out. "Thank you, that was amazing."

"I love you too." Blaine promised. "Better than what we did last time."

"You didn't even get one, why are you saying it was better?" Kurt asked, his voice light and jovial.

"Apparently I really like doing that," Blaine answered. "It got me so hot, Kurt, you have no idea."

Kurt groaned. "Blaine, you can't just do that, you can't just say that and expect me to…" he trailed off, another moan interrupting him.

"Or maybe you do." Blaine laughed and kissed Kurt's forehead. He chanced a look at the digital clock on his dashboard. "C'mon we have to go now."

"Wednesday Carole has the late shift so Dad's going to meet her for dinner out before she has to go, they should be gone for a while. We'll have a few hours, maybe two or three. Come over." Kurt snuggled into Blaine's chest.

"Okay, I can do that."

They ended up not leaving for another twenty minutes. Kurt was almost late making it home. Blaine sort of didn't care.


	8. Chapter 8

**EDIT: See chapter 1**

* * *

><p>The weekend was chaperoned, but they were kind of okay with that. They spent it cuddling on the Anderson's couch and listening to Blaine's mom tell them stories about Blaine and Cooper's childhood. Mr. Anderson joined in every once in a while, but mostly let his wife talk. Kurt finally went home after dinner, leaving Blaine with a kiss on the porch.<p>

Sunday Kurt popped into the garage to help his dad and just bask in the man's presence. Blaine came over for dinner and stayed until Carole gently had to throw him out so he wouldn't miss curfew. They spent a good ten minutes making out against Blaine's car in the near darkness.

As he was lying down in bed, after their reinstated nightly skin routine on the phone, when his thoughts turned dirty and he found himself fighting the urge to slip his hand down the front of his pants. He rolled over and tried to turn his thoughts in another direction, but Blaine was usually the thing he used to distract himself from his thoughts, and that didn't exactly help THIS situation.

In fact, it made it worse.

Soon enough he found his hands slipping down, thoughts of Blaine automatically running wild in his head, pictures flashing before his eyes, memories replaying. The memory of their night in the car crashed over him and Kurt nearly lost it there, just remembering it. More memories, from further back, came pouring through his head, following everything they'd done together backwards until…

Kurt jerked his hand away, phantom pain flaring.

"Fuck," he whined and flopped back on his pillows, arousal already waning. "I thought I was over that already."

* * *

><p>On Monday night Blaine finished his Christmas present for Kurt and, despite it only being mid-December, already started getting impatient about giving it to him. At least it was the LATTER half of the month. He managed to refrain from bringing it to school on Tuesday, which was just as well, that's when everything went crazy with the conflicting schedules for the holiday season. Blaine kind of forced it from his mind the minute glee was over, it wasn't his deal to think about right then. He was more excited about the next day, the much anticipated Wednesday.<p>

Kurt accompanied him home and they did homework in Blaine's room for a while before it became making out on Blaine's bed. About an hour in his dad came knocking on the door and reminding him to keep it open. Reluctantly Blaine got up to fulfill the request, opening the door the required six inches and they settled back down to do more studying. That only lasted another twenty minutes before they were daring to make out even with the door open. What finally made them break apart for good was Kurt's need to get home for dinner. Blaine kissed him goodbye against his bedroom door and walked him out to his car, carrying Kurt's messenger bag for him. He liked being a little chivalrous sometimes; it made him feel like a good boyfriend.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt whispered in his ear and ran a hand down his chest slowly, it too Blaine's breath away. "Talk later?"

"Of course." Blaine gave in, leaning in to kiss Kurt one more time before he absolutely had to go. They might have lingered a bit long, but when he asked later Kurt said he wasn't late getting home.

"So…" Kurt started when they were almost at the end of their nightly phone call skin routine.

Blaine twisted the cap of the moisturizer Kurt had picked out for him. "'So' what?"

"So tell me how I can't masturbate anymore because all I think about is the opening night of the play?" Kurt blurted out, almost too fast for Blaine to comprehend.

"What?"

"Don't make me say it again," Kurt whined and Blaine laughed at him a little.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly. "Just… you can't?"

"I think about that night and I hurt," Kurt admitted and Blaine could picture the blush.

"I thought- I thought we were doing better. I thought we were okay now…" Blaine's spirits took a sharp nosedive.

"We ARE." Kurt's voice was very serious and genuine. "I'M not. I don't know… I just… every time I try it's all I can think about."

"Um…" Blaine didn't know how to handle that. What was he supposed to say?

"I'm sorry for just dumping it on you, Blaine, but I just can't stop thinking about it and I'm worried about how it'll make tomorrow and I just-"

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, if he let him keep going Kurt wouldn't stop. "It's okay to tell me." Kurt sighed into the phone, probably relaxing some of the inevitable tension in his shoulders. "I, uh, I had some trouble too with that, until recently."

Kurt sighed again, longer this time, and Blaine could imagine all the tension dissolving. "Good, I'm not the only one."

"No, it wasn't… it wasn't our best experience." Blaine suddenly got an idea. "Um… so, you don't have a problem when I'm there right? Like, Friday night you didn't think about it at all?"

"Well we weren't going for that." Kurt's voice was pitched with confusion. "So no, I didn't think about it."

"Well, um… do you want to try mutual masturbation?" Blaine's voice shook something fierce. "Like, tomorrow we can try that together, see if it helps."

"How would that help?" Kurt's voice soared high and breathless.

"It'd be a new memory, and I wouldn't touch you at all, you could even pretend I wasn't there, and well… Hopefully it'll help make it easier for all the nights we can't be together," Blaine finished lamely.

"If you're over here, especially over here and NAKED, I'm DEFINITELY not going to pretend you're NOT HERE," Kurt asserted and the bitch stare was evident even on the phone. "But okay, we'll try it tomorrow, see how it goes."

"Deal," Blaine said and grinned happily, now more excited than ever for the next day. OH! And perhaps Thursday would be the ideal day to present Kurt with his gift; it'd be exactly ten days until Christmas. He could get his boyfriend a little something to open on the actual day too, get in more presents to physically show his love. Excitement rolling through him in waves, Blaine said good night to Kurt and let his mind drift even further into gifts and sex.


	9. Chapter 9

**EDIT: See chapter 1**

* * *

><p>The second they were in the door Blaine pushed Kurt up against it and pinned him with his mouth. Kurt whined, high-pitched, into Blaine's mouth and pushed his tongue between the other boy's lips. "Blaine." He whined again, managing to get the name out as he sucked in air. Blaine's hands pinned his hips to the door and Kurt wound his around Blaine's neck, pulling the shorter boy even closer to him. He almost wanted to melt into the door so it'd be easier to hold Blaine, so he could wrap his legs around the boy as well. Kurt moaned loudly, reveling in the empty house.<p>

"Um, guys?" Fuck, ALMOST empty house. Kurt and Blaine sprang apart at the sound of Sam's voice. Kurt cursed himself for forgetting.

"Hi, Sam." Kurt waved at the blond, hoping to hell Sam didn't see the evidence of his arousal.

"Do you, uh, do you want me to go or something?"

"No," Blaine said.

"Yes," Kurt said at the same time. They looked at each other and Kurt raised his eyebrows. Blaine shrugged and grimaced. Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes," he repeated.

"Um… that's an official 'yes'?" Sam asked.

They both nodded.

"Okay, just, um… let me get my backpack from my room then. I'll do my homework at the library." Sam trotted off to get said backpack.

Once he was out of sight Kurt looked over to Blaine. They broke out laughing. "Oh my god, I can't believe we forgot about Sam."

"So stupid." Kurt agreed, Sam had been living at his house for two weeks now, he SHOULD have remembered about him.

"This is so embarrassing." Blaine whined and stuck his face in Kurt's neck.

"You think you're embarrassed? I'm still hard," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear. "I can't make it go away."

"Don't." Blaine pulled away, suddenly serious. "Stop trying, I want that in a few minutes, as soon as he's gone." Kurt gasped and his head fell forward onto Blaine's shoulder.

"Guys?" Sam's voice drifted ahead of him, giving Kurt enough time to back a step away from Blaine. When Sam appeared a few seconds later he had his backpack slung over one shoulder. "I'll be back later, for dinner."

"Okay, see you then." Kurt gave him a smile and Blaine waved after him. They waited for what felt like forever after the door clicked shut before throwing themselves at each other.

"Upstairs, upstairs." Blaine kissed him roughly, plundering his mouth.

They fumbled and laughed their way up the stairs to Kurt's room. Blaine pushed him against his bedroom door and the click as it closed fully was highly satisfying. It was even more satisfying when Kurt pushed Blaine towards the bed and locked the door behind them.

"Okay, how do you want to do this?" Blaine asked and grabbed onto Kurt's hips, reeling him in. He nuzzled into Kurt; his gelled hair bristled against Kurt's stomach.

"Well first you're washing your gel out, I want to pull it." Kurt ran a hand over the top of Blaine's helmet.

"Wash it with me?" Blaine looked up at him with these big eyes and Kurt couldn't say no. Instead he nodded and leaned down to kiss Blaine's forehead. He pulled his boyfriend into the bathroom.

"I don't want my shirt to get wet," Blaine said and then pulled it off his head entirely. Kurt kind of stared, taking in Blaine's toned chest and the small amount of pudge right around his waistband. It was just a little, just enough to look soft and Kurt wanted to lay his head there. "Kurt?"

Kurt tore his eyes away and shook his head quickly, clearing his mind. He turned the sink on and tapped the basin. "C'mere."

"Oh, Hairdresser Kurt," Blaine said with a smile. He bent over the sink and stuck his head under the faucet. Together they worked the gel out of his hair and Blaine didn't hold back his moans when Kurt accidently pulled on a trapped curl too hard.

When they got all the gel out of Blaine's hair Kurt rubbed at his boyfriend's head roughly with a towel, ignoring Blaine's complaints about frizzy hair. He very rarely got to see Blaine's curls; it was a treat whenever he did.

Kurt pulled the towel off Blaine's head and laughed. "You look like a poodle!"

Blaine leveled a glare at him. "See if I want to do anything with you now."

"Ah, honey, I'm sorry." Kurt pouted and pulled Blaine into his arms. Blaine nuzzled into Kurt's neck, all forgiven. "Poodle."

"Kurt!" Blaine whined and pushed the other boy gently. Kurt laughed in his ear and kissed it for good measure.

"I love you."

Blaine relaxed against him. "I love you too." They kissed softly, and the fire from early ignited in Kurt's belly again. But this time he didn't feel the need to push, or be pushed, against the nearest hard surface and devour each other. Now he wanted to go slow, to explore and look and experience Blaine. It was a feeling of peace he'd never experienced before; he hoped it rode him through what they were going to do next.

They made their way back to Kurt's bed and settled on opposite sides. Kurt pulled his shirts off to match Blaine and the calm-want in him settled lower in his stomach, wrapping around any nerves and dulling them.

"You're beautiful, Kurt." Blaine sighed and smiled dopily at him. "How do you want to do this? At the same time, or one at a time? And if we do it one at a time, who goes first?"

"Um…" Kurt swallowed. The idea of doing it together was appealing, but he kind of wanted to see all of Blaine. He didn't want his own feelings to get in the way of that. "I think I'll go first." That way he'd be calmer while he watched Blaine, so he could enjoy it more.

"Okay." Blaine nodded and held out a hand for Kurt to take. "Do you want to start right away or make out a little first?"

Kurt's eyes automatically lowered to Blaine's lips. They were tempting, as always, and Blaine flicked his tongue out to lick them. Kurt's desire boiled a little higher and his hard on grew.

"I think right away," Kurt said distractedly, still staring at Blaine's lips. "This is supposed to be how we masturbate; I don't get to actually kiss you before I do."

"Good point." Blaine bounced a little on bed, excitement rolling off him in waves. "Let's get started."


	10. Chapter 10

**EDIT: See chapter 1  
><strong>**Unsurprisingly, this chapter is taking quite the hit.**

* * *

><p>Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes. This was a little awkward. Despite what he'd said to Blaine earlier, he was thinking he WOULD need to pretend Blaine wasn't there for a little, just so he could get started. He opened his eyes for equilibrium and tried not to look at his boyfriend as he peeled his pants and underwear off. Blaine gasped and Kurt imagined it was a memory.<p>

He settled back against his headboard and spared a minute to arrange the pillows to support his back. He pumped some of his lotion into his hand and rubbed it between his fingers. Still keeping his eyes away from Blaine, Kurt let his hand start wandering over his skin. Blaine gasped again, the end threaded through with a moan, and Kurt's eyes snapped to him. Blaine already looked hot and bothered, almost identical to the way he looked after they'd been making out for a while. The only thing missing was the messier hair and swollen lips. Kurt's imagination filled those in for him and arousal flared hot and heavy in him.

Suddenly he was struck with the idea of this being a performance. He was giving Blaine a show. The showman in Kurt leapt excitedly, somehow pleased to finally be allowed free rein in this area. He let his slicked hand fall downward. He needed to put on a good show for Blaine.

It wasn't hard to manage it Kurt found. Something about Blaine in front of him spurred Kurt on. Usually when he masturbated he relied on memories and thoughts and focused on his own hands. But with Blaine before him, Kurt found himself zeroing in on the way Blaine's shoulders lifted and fell at an ever increasing speed as his breath got shallower, the way he kept licking his bottom lip with quick little flashes of his tongue. Kurt couldn't stop thinking about how it would be to watch Blaine falling apart even more, to watch him bring himself to the highest of highs. It made Kurt's stomach crunch pleasantly.

He hadn't even started to relax, still flying high above the pleasurable oblivion clouds, before Blaine was on him, taking his face between warm hands and kissing fiercely. Kurt couldn't even move to kiss back, still too far gone.

* * *

><p>Fuck Kurt was HOT. He'd known that before, but this was ridiculous. Blaine had NEVER been so hot before, so completely and totally turned on that he almost couldn't stop himself from reaching out and touching. Only the knowledge that his turn was next kept Blaine still. Kurt's soft, amazing hands had roamed all over his own body and then moved so beautifully Blaine.<p>

And, to top off everything about the experience, it was still light outside, sun still streamed in from the window and illuminated the pale boy in all his glory. Kurt was beautiful.

When Kurt's breath was finally slowing down and his body melted into the bed and Blaine, he let go of Kurt's mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt said in pants.

Blaine nuzzled Kurt's face. "That was so hot, I'll be thinking of it for a long time."

"Glad to be of service." Kurt gave a cheeky smile and Blaine kissed his swollen lips lightly.

All at once the purpose for the experience came back to him. "You seemed alright to me, no… uh, blocking."

Kurt groaned and closed his eyes, but it was a happy groan. "I know, so good. First time since November."

"Well, since we're over that hiccup, I don't need to show you mine," Blaine said and smirked.

Kurt gasped indignantly and pushed Blaine off him. "Uh uh, mister." Kurt growled and pinned Blaine to the bed. "You're not getting out of this."

"I'm terrified." Blaine wiggled his eyebrows and Kurt growled again. Blaine tried to hold in a laugh, but he failed miserably. Kurt licked his face wetly and then kissed him quickly. "Ew, Kurt!" He HATED when Kurt did that, well, mildly disliked.

"You deserved it." Kurt was all smugness. He kissed Blaine one more time and then crawled off him to settle back against his headboard and pillows, graceful as a cat. "Now, pants off Anderson."

"So demanding." Blaine rolled his eyes and rolled off the bed to stand. He made a show of slowly unbuttoning his pants and shimmying his hips to make them fall. Kurt, who had opened his mouth to retort, remained silent, staring intently. "Like what you see, officer?"

Kurt groaned and collapsed against his pillows. "Please don't do the jokes, please."

"But you looked so precious in your cop outfit." Blaine blew him a kiss and then took pity on them both. Suddenly the room felt a few degrees hotter.

Kurt grunted.

Blaine settled on the bed again, kneeling to give Kurt the best view, and took a steadying breath. "Can you pass me the lotion?"

Kurt started for a second, surprised. Then he blindly reached out for the bottle, eyes still glued to Blaine, and wrapped his long, beautiful fingers around it. Kurt held it out to him wordlessly.

* * *

><p>Blaine masturbated very differently from Kurt. Where Kurt was all about speed, Blaine preferred to explore himself. Where Kurt sort of forgot every part of his body but one Blaine let his hands move over his entire body.<p>

Just watching it happen made arousal flare hot and quick in Kurt. Blaine was SO attractive. The sight felt like it was burning into his retinas; Kurt tried not to blink to help that process along. He never wanted to forget how this all looked. He never wanted to forget how Blaine's face was twisting, better lit now than ever before, and his mouth was hanging open and that DAMN hot pink tongue was still darting out to moisten his bottom lip.

"Blaine," Kurt whined, voice slipping to his highest register.

Blaine opened his eyes and their gazes locked. "Blaine," Kurt said again, unable to stop his hands from reaching out.

"Kurt." Blaine swallowed roughly. "Kurt, I… Kurt, I…"

Kurt was on him, pushing his shoulders back and settling him against the bed MUCH too close to the edge. Blaine's skin was softer than he'd expected the first time he'd touched him, but still deliciously rough. Something about the hair on his arms and legs turned Kurt on and he couldn't stop his hands from running up and down them constantly.

Now he picked Blaine's legs stroking the outside of Blaine's thighs. "Keep going, Blaine," Kurt whispered.

Kurt bent and kissed Blaine's happy trail, running his tongue up in swirls. "Kurt!" Blaine yelled.

"I love you," Kurt said into Blaine's belly button and then placed an open mouthed kiss there, enjoying the way it made Blaine shiver.

"Kurt, I'm so... " Blaine was shuddering uncontrollably, every nerve shaking.

Kurt ran his fingers up Blaine's thighs further, curving around the backs.

"KURT!" Blaine screamed and tensed, body curling in and colliding roughly with Kurt's. "I love you," he surfaced to say. "I love you, I love you." Then he went back to devouring Kurt's lips.

* * *

><p>It took them ten minutes to calm down enough to stop kissing like the world was ending. They curled up, Kurt draped over Blaine's back, and just settled.<p>

"I love you," Blaine said, because it never felt like he said it enough.

"I love you too." Kurt kissed the nape of his neck gently and nuzzled his nose into Blaine's ridiculously frizzy sex hair.

* * *

><p>When Burt came home it was to Blaine's screeching and Kurt's evil laughter. He was going to leave it, but then the house shook with a thud so he went to investigate.<p>

Kurt's door was, per house rules, open, and his bed made as neatly as ever. That settled, Burt quickly located the boys on the floor by Kurt's vanity. Kurt was sitting on Blaine's stomach, comb and bottle of some hair product or other in either hand.

"You WILL let me tame that mess on your head," Kurt said haughtily.

Blaine squirmed and covered his head. "NO!"

They were both laughing.

Quietly Burt backed out of the room; neither of them had noticed him come in anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

The next day at school Blaine stopped him in the hallway before they went to lunch, his hands shaking a little and this adorable nervous smile on his face. Kurt had the urge to kiss him, but they were in school so he held it in, later, when they were in glee, it would be safer. Blaine led Kurt away from the crowds of McKinley students."What's this about, Blaine?" Kurt asked him, risking a hand on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine smiled and wriggled happily where he stood. "I have something for you."

"What?" Kurt asked with a grin.

"Let me show you." With that he flipped open the top of his messenger bag and dug around for a few seconds. He pulled out a small red box with a gold bow. "I had my mom help me wrap it, I'm not very good at that."

"It's beautiful, but Blaine, Christmas isn't for another week." Kurt felt his eyes widen, the size of the box.

"I know, but… I wanted to give it to you as soon as possible." Blaine's happy voice turned nervous. "So um, open it."

"Okay." Kurt swallowed and started to open it as carefully as possible. Black velvet met his fingers under the wrapping paper; this was DEFINITELY a ring box. "Blaine."

"Go on, open the lid." Blaine came a little closer, invading his personal space welcomingly. So close to him Blaine's excitement was palpable, making Kurt's own heart start fluttering madly.

"Patience," Kurt whispered and then lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a small ring shiny against the black interior. "Are those…"

"Gum wrappers," Blaine said breathily. He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I wanted get you a real one, but I couldn't afford it, so I… um, I made one." Blaine let out a nervous laugh. "I found the directions online. Do you know how hard it is to find gum that still uses the metallic wrappers?""Blaine." Kurt felt his eyes tear up a little.

"Blaine this is… Blaine it's PERFECT." People be damned, Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's neck and hugged the shorter boy tightly to him. "I love it, I love you." He pulled back and brought the ring up to his face. "Put it on me." He held the box out to Blaine.

"Okay," Blaine said. Carefully Blaine took the ring out of the box and Kurt held up his left hand. "It's just a promise ring, Kurt." Blaine teased. Kurt rolled his eyes and let out a laugh.

"I know, just… Blaine."

"Okay, okay." Blaine took Kurt's hand and slid the ring on his third finger. "I promise I'll love you forever."

"I accept." Kurt's heart felt so light. "And I promise the same."

Blaine's face lit up like a Christmas tree, Kurt felt pride settle in his bones for this wonderful boy.

* * *

><p>For the rest of the day Blaine felt the slightly overbearing urge to nuzzle into Kurt's side like a cat. He just wanted to be touching the other boy all the time, especially Kurt's left hand, he loved even LOOKING at the ring there. He'd made it so it didn't look like an engagement ring but a fashion ring instead. He hadn't been able to take the idea of Kurt wearing something that LOOKED like an engagement ring, but WASN'T.<p>

Still, he wanted to just slide up to Kurt, wrap an arm around the boy, and take his hand so he could idly run his thumb over it as they went through the day together attached at the hip. He wanted to put his face in Kurt's neck and just SMELL him.

He realized halfway through glee, as he was trying his best to do those things subtly, that it was kind of obsessive and a little bit possessive. Promptly he scooted his chair away half an inch and didn't put into motion his 'yawn and stretch' plan. He still held Kurt's hand; it would have to be enough. He didn't want to be overbearing.

Ten minutes later Kurt pulled his hand from Blaine's and stretched. Blaine's stomach fluttered when Kurt's arm fell across his shoulders on its way down. More than a little pleased Blaine scooted close again, right into Kurt's side. It felt good to be so close to Kurt.

* * *

><p>They went to Blaine's house after school and cuddled on Blaine's bed for a few minutes before they had to force themselves up to do homework and practice their routine for glee. They'd be filming the next day and they needed everything down.<br>Blaine's room proved too small for the dance routine Artie and Mike had choreographed for them so they traveled downstairs and set up in the living room. Blaine's mom came home halfway through their second run through.

"Don't you guys usually just walk around each other in circles?" she asked, blinking tiredly at them.

"Oh, this is for the TV spot," Blaine answered.

Kurt cocked his head. They DID usually just walk around each other in circles didn't they?

"Are you staying for dinner, Kurt?"

"If I'm invited…" Kurt felt the familiar awkwardness settle in his stomach. Blaine's parents had a very different way of dealing with their gay son than Kurt's dad. Where Burt jumped through hoops to make Kurt and Blaine feel no different from Finn and Rachel, Blaine's parents still seemed to be having a hard time adjusting. They mostly just ignored them when Kurt was over, but at least they were calling Kurt by his name now.

"We're having leftovers; you're welcome to anything in the fridge boys." She rubbed a hand through her hair, effectively ruining it for the day, and turned into the kitchen. "Dinner's at seven."

"Okay, mom." Blaine turned to Kurt with the same sheepish look he always gave Kurt when his parents were involved and shrugged.

"She's calling me Kurt now, last month I was still Kris." Kurt offered his own shrug. "It's getting better."

"I guess." Blaine sighed. "One more run through and then we'll run lines in my room?"

"Sounds good."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The Kris thing is because I can't help myself. :D<strong>  
><strong>Read and Review<strong>!


	12. Chapter 12

Kurt laid back on his pillows, comfortable in his dark room with its locked door and drawn curtains, pajama pants shucked off and pushed to the end of the bed along with the covers. He ran a teasing hand down his chest, tweaking his nipples roughly like Blaine did when they were alone and sighing in content. Before they'd gotten sexual Kurt had never noticed how little truly ALONE time they had. Making out on his bed with the door open was fine, rutting naked against each other was not.

And with that thought came the remembered feel of Blaine's body sliding against his, rubbing against him in ALL the right places. Kurt's hand became Blaine's in his mind, and it roamed down and around the bottom of his ribs.

They really did have limited alone time, but now that the nerves had mostly left them, their alone time was MUCH better than their first attempt. He could recognize now how nervous they'd been and how much it had fucked up the night. But now was different. Now Kurt had new memorizes and experiences, he knew the feeling of Blaine on top of him and the inside of Blaine's mouth.

He knew what Blaine looked like when he jerked himself off, what Blaine felt like beneath him, writhing in bliss, what Blaine's face looked like contorted in pleasure.

Kurt wrapped the hand that was Blaine's hand around his dick gently. He pumped a few times and then let his fingers dance up the shaft, imagining the fleeting feeling was Blaine's tongue licking teasingly at him. Kurt moaned softly, voice sounding in his room. A few months ago he would have been too embarrassed to make that noise, but now he kind of felt proud of it. Not proud enough to let himself moan so loudly he would get caught, but prideful enough to even make the noise at all.

The Blaine in Kurt's imagination suddenly sucked Kurt into his mouth and sucked hard on the head, Kurt panted harshly, clutching the sheets with his free hand. Blaine's tongue swirled around and dipped into the slit, Kurt bit back the significantly louder moan that was clawing up his throat.

His free hand became Blaine as well, reaching up to circle his nipple and then sliding down to play with his balls, rolling them gently between his fingers. Kurt pumped his hand, pretending the circle of his fist was Blaine's soft lips.

Blaine's hand moved down a little, pressing just below Kurt's balls, Kurt saw stars and his hand sped up. With the additional speed his hand morphed from Blaine's mouth to Blaine's fist, tightening and twisting roughly at the end. Blaine's other hand pressed even further down, stopped just above his hole.

Kurt's entire body suddenly turned cold.

He stopped moving.

He waited for the pain.

…

Nothing.

He forced out the breath he was holding and pressed his finger down more, pressing lightly against his hole. He tensed, waiting for his mind to bring forth the phantom pain.

…

Nothing.

Gently, EVER so gently, he pushed in, just the tip, barely even a little, and waited.

…

Nothing.

A little more boldly, Kurt pushed his finger in just past his fingernail. Waited.

…

Nothing.

Even MORE boldly he tried to push in more. He met resistance, his tension at the situation no doubt, so he pushed in a little harder, determined to make this work.

Pain flared up in him violently and Kurt jerked his finger out, completely freaked out.

"WHY?" Kurt hissed into the darkness of his room, frustration pouring out of him. "Why can't this work for me? It's not like I don't want it."

He looked down his body at his waning erection, almost disgusted at the sight of it. Frustrated beyond belief, Kurt rolled over in his bed and screamed into his pillow.

* * *

><p>The lock made a satisfyingly loud click when Blaine turned it. That done he went to lock the bathroom door that adjoined his room with Cooper's, not that Cooper was home or anything, it was just a precaution.<p>

He checked all the doors again, just to be 100 percent sure they were all locked and he was safe in his room. Satisfied, he flopped quietly on his bed and pushed the sheets and covers to the end and out of the way. Next he pushed his pajama pants and underwear down to join them.

Clad only in his nightshirt, Blaine settled back against his bed, reaching a hand up under his pillow for the lube he'd stashed there.

He'd been thinking about this since he'd given Kurt head that night in the parking lot, but he'd been too nervous to try it out. Now though, now he felt bolder and more settled into the idea.

Usually he liked to tease himself a bit before he did anything, but there were still some nerves left and Blaine knew that if he procrastinated he would never do it. It was this sentiment that had him spreading some lube on his fingers and attempting to warm it between his fingers without it getting everywhere. Some still landed on his stomach, but it wasn't much and it was somewhat warmed by then, so he figured it was alright.

"Still wasting time," Blaine said to the empty room. He took a deep, steadying breath and brought his hand down to his entrance. It was awkward the way he was positioned, so he wrapped his wrist around the back of his thigh instead, trying it that way. It felt a little better, less like he'd get stiff so quickly. With a stupid little laugh at that thought, Blaine circled his entrance softly.

He jumped.

It was ELECTRIC.

He'd never really explored himself down there, always thought he'd top and didn't think at ALL about bottoming. Whenever he watched porn he was always concentrating on the top and watching him closely. As he tentatively pushed the first part of his finger in, he realized he might have focused so hard on tops because he wanted to BE topped, not to BE A top. His free hand curled in the sheets and his breath caught in his throat.

Without thinking he slid his finger in the rest of the way, squirming at the drag on his hole. Having the actual finger in him felt strange and potentially unpleasant, but when he moved his finger out slowly it became the best thing he'd ever done to himself. The feel of it was like nothing he'd ever experienced. A hot, ragged type of pleasure overtook him and soon he was pushing his finger in and out quicker and quicker, practically rocking into his own hand trying to get it deeper.

The lube was drying out, but now that he'd experienced how good this felt, even THAT was pleasurable in a way. Still, he didn't want to hurt himself, he didn't want to make that mistake again, so he pulled his finger out and tried not to moan at the loss. Shaking and fumbling so hard he almost couldn't pop the cap on the lube, Blaine applied more lube to his finger, and rubbed it onto another finger, suddenly eager to try two.

Putting his finger back in felt like a relief, and Blaine even went as far as to sigh in content at the feeling of it. He pumped a few times and then wrapped his second lubed finger over the first and started to push in slowly.

This was different than the first finger had been. Where the first finger had met minimal resistance, the pair of fingers met MUCH more. It sent strange shocks of pleasure through him to push in anyway, stretching his hole just a bit. He went a little too fast on his first try, but slowed down quickly, easily. He was in control of this, it was SO easy to adjust and make it perfect.

Soon both fingers were buried in him, clamped tightly and immobile as Blaine forced himself to keep breathing and relax enough to move. It felt SO good, but it was instinct to tense against this intrusion.

He twisted his fingers a little, hoping the pleasure of it would make him relax so he could keep going, keep exploring this part of himself he WISHED he'd found earlier. However, well laid plans still fail, and Blaine's plan was only half-baked, addled by pleasure. Instead of relaxing him, Blaine's twist brought him into contact with his prostate. The overwhelming and unexpected pleasurable shock of it had him coming instantly.

A moan ripped through his throat as he came, only just barely muffled in time by an emergency face dive into his pillow, the moan was Kurt's name.


	13. Chapter 13

The next few nights had Blaine barricading himself in his room, locks triple checked, and spread out on his bed, fingers buried in his ass. After his first night of trying it was like it was all he could think about. He vaguely remembered being this obsessed when he'd first figured out how much better masturbating was if he fantasized about guys, but this was RIDICULOUS.

Blaine moaned into his pillow, seriously unable to keep quiet, and thrust his fingers harder into his ass, searching desperately for his prostate. He wasn't very good at finding it but just the drag against his rim was enough to get him off it seemed, he had barely touched his cock the times he'd done this. He was too caught up on the stretch and drag of his fingers to care about fisting his cock.

Not for the first time he imagined his fingers belonged to Kurt, that those fingers would turn into Kurt's cock, that Kurt would be with him and pounding him into his mattress. It made his mouth water and his fingers move faster just thinking about it.

The lube was starting to get tacky by the time Blaine was close to coming, he really needed to invest in better stuff. With one last hard shove, and a desperate twist in search of his prostate, Blaine came, muffling his scream in his pillow.

When his breathing had finally calmed down and he could force his limbs to move again, Blaine cleaned himself up. As he was putting the lube away he decided against it and dropped it on his bed. He pulled his laptop to him and opened up a new window. He typed in the brand of lube and started searching.

Half an hour later he'd come to the conclusion that he'd bought probably the shittiest lube on the market. He'd also decided that he wanted to try an oil-based lube.

The next day, the last day of classes before Christmas break, Blaine told Kurt he had an errand to run for his mom and would be a little late to Kurt's house. It was a lie, but he was a bit embarrassed about what he ACTUALLY wanted to do.

The embarrassment followed him all the way through the process of picking up the lube, getting some of the appropriate condoms to go along with it, in case he ever worked up the courage to tell Kurt about it, and buying them. He decided right there and then, as the cashier was leering at him, that he was going to buy these things from Wal-Mart for the rest of eternity, Kurt be damned, because Wal-Mart at least consistently had a self-checkout option.

He quickly brought everything home, stowed it safely in his nightstand, heart thumping in anticipation, and then got back in his car to go to Kurt's. His face was still red when he showed up, Blaine could only hope Kurt didn't notice.

* * *

><p>Blaine was acting a bit weird, but not enough to arouse enough suspicion for Kurt to ask him about it. Kurt figured Blaine had something to talk to him about, but he wasn't quite there yet. They were always as honest as possible with each other, but that didn't mean Kurt had to wheedle everything out of Blaine immediately, he was content to wait for a little while.<p>

They cuddled in Kurt's room, door open, and exchanged light kisses while Kurt's laptop played a random YouTube playlist he'd let Blaine pick. "I love you," Kurt whispered in the silent lull as one song changed to another.

Blaine smiled at him. "I love you too." The hand on Kurt's waist slid down to rest on his thigh. "Are you excited for Christmas? I know last year you were all panicked about meshing the Hummel-Hudson traditions."

Kurt hummed and pressed a kiss to Blaine's nose. He ran his hand down Blaine's chest a little, enjoying the strength he found there. "I am. I think we hammered out most of the problems last year."

"That's good."

"What about you? Did you finally convince your parents to let you skip out on your aunt's party this year?" Kurt wiggled in a little closer and Blaine's hand slipped a little closer to his ass, he didn't mind.

Blaine sighed, letting his fingers start stroking Kurt slowly. "No, they said I had to go. Coop's going to be there, I can't just skip out." He leaned in and gave Kurt a soft kiss. "However, they did say I could have New Year's with you. Mom's paper is throwing a big bash and they wanted to go. They actually kind of pushed me out the door a little with it; Mom really loves the caterer the paper got." Blaine laughed lightly. "I get to kiss you at midnight."

Kurt let out an excited giggle. He'd never had anyone to kiss on New Year's before. "Exciting."

"Truly is." Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's. "When your first free day?"

Did he mean with or WITHOUT parents/Finn? Blaine laughed when he asked, kissed Kurt's eyelids and said he wanted to know about both. "Well, I'll be cooking up a storm tomorrow and Christmas. You could still come over a little tomorrow though; I wouldn't mind having you around to help. Besides, I have to give you my gift still." Kurt pressed his thumb to the ring he had on. It was surprisingly sturdy, probably because of the wire Blaine had running through it to hold its shape.

Blaine wiggled his whole body. "Sounds perfect."

"Oh, maybe we can even convince our parents to let you stay over tonight." Kurt ran his hand up Blaine's chest and around to his back, pulling the younger boy a little closer. "I can maybe get Carole on my side if I bring up early enough."

"We'll try, if not I'll come around noon tomorrow," Blaine said, shifting his body weight to help Kurt pull him in. "What about without parents?"

"Hmm, the twenty seventh maybe, I'll let you know." Kurt kissed Blaine a little rougher than before. "Why, do you have something you want to try?"

"Maybe," Blaine said with a laugh. He kissed Kurt and hummed into it.

They snuggled even closer together and went back to kissing and staring.


	14. Chapter 14

Luckily Carole came home before his dad did, so Kurt was able to talk to her in private without it catching his dad's attention. "Can Blaine stay over tonight? We made plans for him to come over tomorrow, but I thought it'd be easier if he just stayed over. I wouldn't even expect him to stay in my room, he said he's more than fine with the couch and-"

"Kurt." Carole cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. "I'm alright with him staying. After having your son's pregnant girlfriend live in your house for three months, a little sleepover is nothing. I'll still have to check with your dad, but I'll put in a good word. We like Blaine, he's a good kid."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Carole."

"You're welcome." She patted his shoulder. "Now I need to go take these shoes off, my feet are killing me."

"Oh, sorry, go on ahead." Kurt stepped out of her way and let her pass by. The shoes she was wearing were ones he's helped pick out for her, he felt bad knowing they were hurting her. Now more than ever he was glad he'd gotten her those Dr. Scholls for Christmas.

That done he went back to Blaine and their cocoon of light kisses and Roxy Music.

* * *

><p>Later that night, after dinner and a video game contest with Finn, Blaine was settled against the couch cousins in a pair of Kurt's pajamas, navy ones with white lining that smelled intoxicatingly of Kurt. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into one of Kurt's spare pillows and wrapped tight in the couch blanket from Kurt's room. He should be relaxed being so entirely surrounded by Kurt's smell, but it was only making it more difficult to go to sleep. So much Kurt-smell was making his dick twitch in interest and no amount of wishing it would stop made Blaine's arousal go away.<p>

He was in the middle of a stern lecture to himself about why he couldn't be aroused on the Hummel's couch when he got distracted; thinking of what he would have been doing that night if he wasn't at Kurt's. His mind flew to his nightstand and the lube within it. The gutter in his mind, grown large and dominate by this time, made the immediate jump to fingering himself and how hard Blaine got off on it.

Blaine bit his lip to keep the moan in. His dick, REALLY liking where the train of thought was going, immediately hardened. Blaine stretched out on his side, trying to get as little contact on his dick as possible, no matter how much he wanted to relieve some of the arousal in him. His movements made his ass press up into the back of the couch. Blaine had to stifle another moan. It was going to be a LONG night.

* * *

><p>Sleeping in his bed, knowing Blaine was just downstairs, was a bit like torture. Kurt wanted nothing more than to slip downstairs and snuggle into Blaine's arms. Or, better yet, have Blaine come up the stairs and snuggle into HIS arms. Kurt hugged a pillow to himself, trying to pretend it was Blaine. The pillow was too soft and gave too easily. Still, Kurt hugged it tighter.<p>

* * *

><p>Blaine managed a little sleep, but it wasn't very restful. Either he kept thinking about how turned on he was, or he kept thinking about Kurt upstairs, so close but so far away. Blaine was fairly sure when he looked at his phone just after five that if Kurt had just been in his arms, he would have fallen asleep in minutes.<p>

* * *

><p>At 6:51 Kurt looked at his phone for perhaps the hundredth time that night. He groaned into the pillow he still clutched much too tightly. "Fuck it," he mumbled. "Dad can just get mad at me."<p>

With that he rolled out of bed, irritated at the coldness of his room, and slipped his feet into slippers. He made his way down the stairs as quietly as he could and peered over the back of the couch. There Blaine was; hair a rumbled, curly mess and stretched out on his side.

Kurt came around the front of the couch just as Blaine opened his eyes. "Kurt," he said, voice thick with sleepiness.

"Scoot over," Kurt ordered gently. He put a hand on Blaine shoulder and pushed Blaine away from the back of the couch so he could climb in behind him. Blaine seemed to understand what Kurt wanted and moved accordingly. It was a little hard to climb behind Blaine, but Kurt managed it.

Blaine hummed happily and pressed his back against Kurt's chest. "Much better," Blaine mumbled.

Kurt kissed the back of Blaine's neck softly. Kurt pulled the blanket over himself and wrapped his arms around Blaine. He threaded their legs together, fitting their hips together on the narrow couch. Blaine pressed back against him a little harder, sighing so contently Kurt couldn't help but kiss him again. "So much better."

Kurt closed his eyes, deliciously warm and wrapped around the boy he loved.

* * *

><p>Blaine woke again two hours later hard, aching, and biting back a moan as Kurt's morning wood pressed at the divide of his ass. Without any thought Blaine ground back on Kurt, mind flooding with a desperate need to feel Kurt on that part of his body.<p>

Kurt's arm tightened around him and Blaine could feel his breath hitch. Blaine pushed back harder, a high whine ripping out of his throat. Suddenly Kurt thrust forward, his dick pressing so tight against Blaine's ass he was sure he'd pass out.

Then Kurt's arm was loosening and he was pushing Blaine's body away. "Blaine," Kurt hissed and, despite the tone, Blaine couldn't help but moan. "Blaine, my parents are home."

THAT made Blaine wake fully; suddenly aware of how bad an idea it was to be grinding on Kurt's living room couch. "Shit, I'm sorry."

Kurt let out a shaky breath. "Me too."

Blaine turned around carefully on the narrow couch. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Kurt smiled at him. Then he frowned and reached a hand up to cover his mouth. "Morning breath."

"Me too," Blaine said and shuddered. His breath was truly terrible in the morning, like something died in his mouth. No matter what he did it didn't go away. "Sorry." With that Blaine pulled himself out of Kurt's warm embrace. "I'll just go brush my teeth."

Kurt propped up on an elbow and watched him go. "I love you," Kurt called after him.

"I love you too," Blaine said over his shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

They spent the day cooking, well Kurt cooked while Blaine graciously took instructions and tried not to cut himself. Kurt was kind of amazing in the kitchen, and a little bit fearsome. It was strangely sexy being ordered around so Blaine didn't mind at ALL.

By dinner Kurt was too tired to cook anymore and finally let them retire to his room after the meal. Blaine watched as Kurt collapsed on his bed and whined. Kurt never really let his guard down like this around other people; it was great to be the one who got to see it. He climbed on next to Kurt and cuddled into the older boy's side.

"My feet hurt." Kurt groaned and rolled onto his side so he could wrap an arm over Blaine's waist.

"We've been cooking since ten this morning. That's seven straight hours of cooking and standing to do it. I think you're allowed to hurt a little." Blaine ran his hand down Kurt's side until he reached his hip; there he rubbed his thumb into the fabric.

Kurt simply whined and buried his face in Blaine's ungelled curls. Lack of gel was the only downfall to staying at Kurt's, well, staying spontaneously anyway. When he planned his stay it was actually almost nicer at Kurt's than at his house. The presence of his boyfriend had a lot to do with that.

"There, there, baby." Blaine smiled at the stupid line, but the way Kurt's body vibrated with his responding laugh was enough justification for saying it.

Kurt pulled his face away from Blaine's hair and sat up. "Lay down with me the right way." Kurt scooted up the bed and waited for Blaine to move next to him so he could stretch his feet out and lay his head down on the pillow. Instead of lying with him Blaine crawled to the other end of the bed and pulled Kurt's socked foot onto his lap.

Kurt propped himself up on his elbows and cocked his head. "Blaine?"

"You said they hurt." Blaine shrugged and dug his fingers into Kurt's heel. The moan that fell from Kurt's lips was almost pornographic.

"Blaine that feels so good," Kurt said and fell back against his pillows.

Blaine dug his fingers in again and Kurt sighed contently. He curled in to press a kiss to Kurt's shin and then turned his full attention to Kurt's was a relaxed puddle by the time Blaine was done, so much he didn't even protest that Blaine put the same hands that had been rubbing his feet on his body without washing them first. It wasn't like Blaine was touching his face or anything, Blaine reasoned, and Kurt's floors were always super clean. Blaine cuddled as close to Kurt's side as he dared with the door open and let his eyes fall shut. On top of their day in the kitchen neither of them had slept very much the night before, they were tired.

* * *

><p>Burt came in about an hour after they nodded off. He closed the door with an extra loud bang and, when that didn't stir the boys, went over to them and shook the first limb he came in contact with, which happened to be Blaine's left leg. Blaine mumbled in his sleep and curled closer to Kurt, pushing his face further into Kurt's neck.<p>

"It's time to get up guys," Burt said louder than he usually spoke. "Blaine has to go home now."

Kurt groaned and Burt watched his little boy's fingers tighten around Blaine's arm. "C'mon now." Burt shook Blaine's leg a little harder and finally one of them cracked an eyelid.

"Hmm, Mr. Hummel?" Blaine mumbled.

"Time to get up, kid," Burt told him and let go of his leg. "You have to go home now before it gets too late."

Blaine sat up, detangling himself from Kurt's still sleeping body, and rubbed at his eyes. "It's dark out."

"Yeah," Burt nodded. "It is. You better get a move on. I don't like you driving too late."

Blaine yawned and nodded. "Okay. Thanks Mr. Hummel."

Burt nodded at the kid. "Alright, you come down in a bit, wake Mr. Sleepy here up to say good night." With that Burt retreated, leaving them alone. He left the door open behind him.

* * *

><p>Kurt woke to Blaine's lips on his and a warm hand trailing up the inside of his shirt, inching steadily towards his nipples. Kurt lay in a sleepy, pleased stupor until Blaine's fingers reached their destination and a shock of pleasure ran through him. He moaned into Blaine's mouth and his boyfriend used the sound to slip his tongue into Kurt's mouth.<p>

Kurt was just getting into it when Blaine pulled away. "I've always wanted to kiss someone awake," Blaine said in a husky voice. "Like I was Prince Philip and you're Sleeping Beauty."

Kurt smiled before he could remember to scoff gently at that. Blaine made a small triumphant noise and kissed him again, gentler this time and without tongue. "Good morning, Blaine."

"No," Blaine said. "It's night." He kissed Kurt again. "And I actually have to go. You're dad was just up to wake us up, only managed to wake me though. You're, like, dead to the world when you're actually tired aren't you?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine but he couldn't muster any heat for the glare. "Blaine."

Blaine kissed him again to shush him and Kurt let him. "Come say good night to me downstairs."

Kurt heaved a great sigh. "Alright."

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his free hand as he walked down the stairs hand-in-hand with Blaine.

* * *

><p>He'd texted Kurt to let him, and Burt, know he was home, but then he'd been subjected to family time until it was time for bed. They'd done their skin care routine and Blaine had convinced Kurt to do it on FaceTime. Blaine looked forward to the day he could be sitting next to Kurt while they did it instead of on the complete other side of town, plus some.<p>

However, as much as it sucked being away from Kurt and being forced into somewhat awkward time with his family, Blaine was still grateful he was home.

Ironic that masturbation was the reason he was happy to spend a night apart from his boyfriend. He should, by all rights, want to be with Kurt instead, and, in a way, he did. But given Kurt's last reaction to the subject, Blaine wasn't sure how he'd feel about what Blaine was doing and he didn't want to think about something so complicated when he was horny.

Besides, while he'd LOVE to have Kurt doing it to him, the feeling hadn't become familiar enough that doing it alone was boring yet. He figured it would be better to explore himself a little more before he introduced it to Kurt.

He'd SO quickly become addicted to the feeling, the burn and stretch and drag of it. With fumbling fingers and too quick breaths Blaine broke the seal on his new lube and popped the cap. It spread nicely on his fingers, the feel of it enough to make Blaine twitch in anticipation.  
>Blaine sighed when he finally got a finger in himself, relaxing completely in a way he hadn't been able to manage the night before on Kurt's couch. He thrust his finger in a few times, opening himself up to the familiar feeling, before he layered one finger over the other and pushed two in slowly. The stretch of it was fantastic and addicting.<p>

With the new lube Blaine could barely hold in a moan. He thrust his fingers in; gaining a speed he'd never dared with himself before and had to bite his pillow to keep his sounds down.

Soon, despite how GOOD two fingers felt, it wasn't enough. He managed to lube his third finger and pressed them back to his hole immediately, not even bothering to warm the new layer of lube.

It was cold enough to make him hiss in discomfort, but not enough for him to move his fingers away. He just WANTED it too much, wanted the burn of it, the stretch.

When his fingers were in as deep as they could go Blaine slowly drew them out, relishing the drag. He managed two more slow thrusts of his fingers before his body DEMANDED more and he automatically began to move faster and harder.

Three fingers felt much bigger than two fingers, even bigger than Blaine had thought it would. He couldn't get enough of it.

With a twist of his wrist that got him SO CLOSE to his elusive prostate Blaine came hard, collapsing against his towel-covered sheets with a groan.

"I'm such a bottom," Blaine said breathily, a giggle of sexual satisfaction in his voice, when his heart finally calmed down enough so he could think over the roar of it.


	16. Chapter 16

They spent all of Christmas day texting, sneakily on Blaine's part after his parents yelled at him for it. Kurt sent him pictures of the parts of diner he'd helped make and a video of everyone saying 'Merry Christmas'.

After the video came in Blaine had snuck off to the bathroom to call Kurt and tell him how much he loved him. They talked so long Blaine's grandpa came to knock on the door twice. Blaine gave the old man a sheepish look when he came out, hiding his phone in his pocket and hoping he wouldn't ask him anything.

Later, when he came back from sneaking away again to call Kurt and complain about his cousins, his aunt cornered him. "Blaine," she asked. "Where do you keep going?"

"The bathroom," Blaine lied quickly. Well, technically it was true, but the reason wasn't.

"Are you feeling alright? You've been in and out all night." She reached out a brushed her fingers just under his bangs. It was usually meant to be a comforting gesture, but it just felt weird coming from her. She didn't like him. She'd barely liked him before she found out he was gay, afterwards she was all but hostile towards him.

"I'm fine, I just drank too much." Blaine gave her his show smile and backed away. He didn't need her causing a scene of any kind.

She narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips, but she didn't say anything.

"I'm a bit peckish, talk to you later." Blaine smiled again and forced his footsteps to be slow and even. He wasn't hungry, but he couldn't think of another reason to get away from her.

Cooper was by the desert buffet, talking animatedly with their grandma. He was pointing too much, it looked weird.

Blaine made himself a coffee and grabbed a few cookies for show, then he settled himself in the corner of the room and tried to look unapproachable.

It seemed to work for a while. Every once in a while he'd look up and no one seemed to be paying him any attention. When he'd finished his first cookie and half his coffee Blaine risked pulling his phone out to see if Kurt had texted him again.

From Kurt:  
>OoO\ Finn ate almost ALL the cookies in the tin somewhere between last night and two minutes ago! I went to get them and there were 12.5 left. YES 12.5! I'd kill him, but he looked like such a kicked puppy I can't do it. Le sigh, at least HE enjoyed them. Luckily I made more than enough desert even without the cookies. (Though more than half of it's fat free, shh, don't tell my dad.)

Blaine chuckled quietly to himself.

To Kurt:  
>What emoticon is that? I haven't seen it before.<p>

From Kurt:  
>Shock, Blaine. It's Shock.<p>

Blaine smiled to himself.

To Kurt:  
>It's adorable, just like you.<p>

From Kurt:  
>-^.^- (that's me blushing)<p>

To Kurt:

:X (Kiss)

From Kurt:  
>ily.<p>

To Kurt:  
>143 too.<p>

From Kurt:  
>My, my, someone's getting fancy with the 'i love you' s.<p>

To Kurt:  
>Well, I do try.<p>

Blaine's phone buzzed with Kurt's response but he didn't get to read it before the phone was ripped out of his hands. Blaine let out a noise of protest and immediately jumped to his feet to retrieve it.

He was met with his aunt's hard stare. "Put this away, Blaine." She was seething. "I don't want you doing this in my house."

Blaine's insides hardened. "Understood." He held out his hand for his phone. She dropped his in his hand like it was poison.

"NEVER again," she hissed.

Blaine went to the bathroom and called Kurt five minutes later just to spite her. He kept it quick though, he didn't need her to flip out on him. If Christmas got ruined because of this his parents would probably blame him and he would get grounded.

"How's the 27th looking for you? Still free?" Blaine asked.

"Completely," Kurt said.

"I have to go now, I love you." Blaine tried to keep the tension from his voice.

"Okay, I love you too." Kurt sounded worried anyway.

* * *

><p>The 27th dawned bright and cheery, at least Kurt thought it did. He slept in until ten and then lazily went about his morning routine.<p>

Finn was still home when Kurt finally went down for breakfast. He stood in the kitchen staring blearily at the inside of the fridge like it would somehow start cooking for him.

"Sit, Finn," Kurt ordered. "I'll make you something."

"Thanks, Kurt." Finn yawned and backed away from the fridge. He basically collapsed at the kitchen table.

"How do you feel about waffles?"

"Good." Finn crossed his arms on the table and lay his head down.

"Okay."

Finn was snoring lightly when Kurt finished the waffles. He poked the tall boy awake and slid a plate to him. "There's coffee if you want it."

"I'm good. Milk?" Finn asked, eyebrows perking up hopefully.

Kurt pushed the carton to his brother.

They ate in near silence, too tired to talk to each other. It wasn't until Kurt gulped down the last of his coffee that he spoke. "Are you still going to Rachel's today?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, for a little while. Then I'm going to Puck's. He's got something to show me apparently."

"Oh." Kurt nodded. "When do you think you'll be back?"

Finn shrugged. "I don't know. Puck said come over after diner, so late I guess."

"Okay." Kurt speared his last bit of waffle. "I'm having Blaine over."

"Oh." Finn said. Then comprehension dawned on his face and he repeated himself. "I'll stay out all day, dude."

"Thanks." Kurt only blushed a little bit.

* * *

><p>Blaine was SO tense still. He'd called Kurt when he got home from his STUPID aunt's party and talked with him until almost midnight, but it had barely helped. He hadn't even wanted to try fingering himself again. It was the first night Blaine hadn't felt the urge to do so since he'd first tried.<p>

The next day it had snowed so Kurt couldn't come over as planned. Blaine was, predictably, EXTREMELY disappointed. They'd talked all day, even tried to venture into phone sex but it ended badly. They couldn't stop laughing and they were TERRIBLE at dirty talking. Blaine hadn't even gotten his pants off before they had to stop.

He'd been too tired that night to finger himself, instead falling asleep.

If he hadn't been able to drive on the 27th, Blaine was about ready to brave walking all the way to Kurt's house. Luckily he didn't need to try. He just had to drive REALLY slowly on the way over.

He practically tackled on Kurt when the taller boy opened his front door. Blaine even forgot to check if anyone could see them first.

Kurt just hummed happily and let Blaine push him against a wall, kissing back enthusiastically. When he pulled away for air Blaine when for his neck. "Someone's eager today," Kurt said, gasping.

"Missed you - so much - no idea." Blaine said between hard sucks on Kurt's neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Kurt's fingers wound in his hair, left mostly ungelled just for this purpose, and tugged gently. Blaine reluctantly let Kurt's insistent tugging pull him away from the older boy's delectable neck. "Not that I don't love this, because I SO do, but what's the matter? You never do things like this."

Blaine sighed. "I've had a crappy few days. My family, no, specifically my aunt, kind of suck." Kurt let Blaine's head fall against his shoulder. "You know how my parents are still working on the being accepting thing? Yeah, well my aunt isn't trying at all. She never liked me anyway, no she thinks she has a legitimate reason to hate me."

"How could someone dislike you? You're adorable and charming." Kurt made an adorable little aghast noise.

"That's my word for you," Blaine said and kissed Kurt's shoulder. "And I don't know. I think I might have broken something expensive of hers when I was younger or something. I just know she refused to babysit me and my grandma always had to do it."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine more firmly. "Well forget her, you don't need to talk to her if you don't want to. It's okay to be rude to people who hate you."

"I didn't want to cause a scene." Blaine sighed heavily. "But enough about this. I want you."

"That can be arranged, we do have the house to ourselves." Kurt smirked.


	17. Chapter 17

They made it up to Kurt's room in about three minutes, were shirtless in another two, and completely naked by the end of another 4 minutes. Kurt moaned as their naked bodies slid together PERFECTLY, still a bit too dry but delicious anyway.

Kurt was on top, pressing Blaine into the mattress with his body. Blaine was moaning beneath him like he'd never been touched before, hands grasping at Kurt's back roughly and holding tightly.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Kurt asked breathlessly. They hadn't done that yet, only Blaine going down on him.

Blaine whined high and nodded fervently. "Kurt, yes, PLEASE!"

Kurt laughed at him lightly and pressed a kiss to his chin. "You don't have to sound so eager you know. It's just a blowjob." He rolled his eyes for effect.

"Shush you." Blaine growled, going along with it. Then he pulled on Kurt's shoulders until he could kiss him. "I'll love it even if you suck, actually, ESPECIALLY if you suck."

Kurt groaned and dropped his head down. "That was SO cheesy, Blaine. How long have you been waiting to use that?"

"About three months." Blaine smiled much to bright and Kurt kissed off his face.

"Keep it up and you won't get nothing." Kurt kissed him again anyway and then started a trail down Blaine's neck.

Blaine keened when Kurt reached that spot on his collar bone that he loved, pressing his hips up harshly. Kurt gave the spot one last nip and then moved down to Blaine's nipples.

Blaine was a writhing mess by the time Kurt reached his hipbones. He sucked on each of them in turn, determined to string this out and make Blaine beg.

"Kurt, Kurt, PLEASE!" Blaine was panting heavily, hips straining up every few seconds. "PLEASE!:

"Okay, since you've been good," Kurt said and then wrapped his fist around Blaine's cock. It was just as pretty as the last time he'd see it, just as mouth watering. Kurt had thought he'd be hesitant to do this, SO unsanitary, but the idea didn't gross him out as much as he'd thought it would. So, instead of hesitating, Kurt sunk his mouth down on Blaine.

Blaine howled.

The cock in his mouth was hot and heavy, a bit salty and a bit bitter. It tasted most strongly of skin though. Kurt sank down another inch.

His mouth felt almost uncomfortably full. He figured he could maybe fit a little more in before he gagged, but he didn't want to test that just yet. So for the moment he just sucked, hard.

Blaine's hips SNAPPED up and the tip of his cock hit the back of Kurt's throat. Immediately he pulled off to cough, his throat seizing.

"Oh my god, Kurt I'm SO sorry!" Blaine apologized as he bolted upright.

"It's okay," Kurt managed to say around coughs. "Just - give me a minute."

Blaine kept murmuring apologizes quietly and ran his hands through Kurt's hair soothingly.

When Kurt finally got his coughing under control he pushed Blaine back down and kissed at his hipbones.

"You don't have to do it again," Blaine said in protest.

"I want too," Kurt answered. He knew how it felt, he didn't want Blaine to miss out on it just because of one mess up. "Relax, baby."

When Blaine was suitably relaxed and Kurt worked up the courage to try again he pulled away from the fantastic hickey he was leaving on Blaine's left hipbone and fisted Blaine's cock again. He draped his arm over Blaine's hips to keep him down this time and sucked him back into his mouth.

Blaine was leaking now, salty, bitter pre-come dribbling from the head. Kurt licked it off, trying not to make a face at the taste. He'd need to get Blaine on a better diet if this was going to happen again. Kurt had research to do later.

Kurt put weight on the arm holding Blaine's hips down and then sucked gentler than before. Blaine moaned and his hips twitched but nothing bad happened this time. Kurt did it again, a little harder this time. Blaine moaned louder.

Blaine's moans sounded so good. Kurt pulled off and licked up and down the shaft, twisting his fist at the base a few times. He traced his tongue on a large vein on the underside of Blaine's cock and then swirled his tongue around the head.

"Kurt!" Blaine keened. His hands flew up and fisted in Kurt's hair, tugging gently but not enough to make Kurt move. The tugging reminded Kurt of what else he could be doing with his hands and he let go of Blaine's cock. He mouthed where his hand had just be and cupped Blaine's balls in his newly freed hand. "Oh my god, Kurt. PLEASE don't stop!"

Blaine liked his balls touched, check. Kurt remembered watching Blaine jerk himself off. Blaine liked roaming hands. Kurt tugged gently at Blaine's balls and then let his hands slip down to rub at Blaine's perineum.

Blaine moaned louder than before. "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt!" Hearing his name in chant was REALLY nice Kurt decided. He pushed his thumb against the spot and Blaine tensed momentarily. "I'm so close, Kurt."

Kurt moved up Blaine's cock and sucked the head into his mouth. He flicked his tongue into the slit, ignoring the taste, and sucked gently. He rubbed his thumb up and down.

Except his thumb went a bit too far and caught on Blaine's hole. Kurt quickly jerked his hand away and released Blaine's cock to apologize.

But then Blaine keened louder than before, shifted his hips down against the digit that was no longer there and came harshly.

Kurt was stunned. Years of slushie dodging was the only thing that made him close his eyes in time to avoid an eyeful of come.


	18. Chapter 18

By the time Blaine had come down enough to realize what happened Kurt was already returning from the bathroom, face clean and a puzzled expression on his face.

Seeing him walk in Blaine realized he'd left in the first place. Immediately he sat up to spew his apologizes. Kurt, however, cut him off before he could start. "Blaine, shh."

Blaine shh'd.

"So... next time could you warn me a little better? I REALLY didn't like that getting on my face," Kurt said.

"Of course, Kurt. Of course." Blaine nodded quickly. "I'm SO sorry."  
>"You don't have to be. Just, next time don't alright?" Kurt's face scrunched up adorably.<p>

"I promise." Blaine WAS really sorry, but if Kurt wasn't willing to let him apologize well - there was no use forcing it on him. So instead Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt's nose. He let a hand snake forward to Kurt's cock "Do you want help with that?"

Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes. Then he pulled away a bit so Blaine wasn't touching him anymore. "As lame and somehow still enticing as that offer was, I... You just... I wanted to say I'm sorry for touching you - THERE." His eyes got big and he ducked his head when he said the word. "I didn't mean to."

"What?" Blaine had no idea what Kurt was talking about. He just wanted to be touching Kurt, not thinking.

"I touched your..." Kurt made the face again. "You know. Where we decided not to go."

Comprehension dawned on him. "But that's what made me come." The words were out of his mouth before he could think about them.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "What?"

Now Blaine's eyes were the wide ones. "I... Um..." He cleared his throat. "I liked it. I like being - touched there."

"You - do?" Kurt asked slowly, eyes narrowing even further.

Blaine REALLY hoped he hadn't said the wrong thing. He hadn't meant to bring this up yet. He nodded sheepishly, it was already out anyway, might as well own up to it.

"You - WANT me to touch you there?" Kurt asked.

Blaine nodded again.

"You like it." It wasn't a question this time, and something in Kurt's voice changed. Blaine looked up at him.

Kurt was staring at him intensely. "And it doesn't hurt you?"

"Not if I do it right. When I did it to you I didn't stretch enough and there wasn't enough lube," Blaine shrugged.

"You do it to yourself? You touch yourself there at home when you're all alone?"

Kurt's stare made something hot stir in his belly. Blaine nodded. Kurt gasped.

Kurt was turned on.

Blaine's mouth watered and his own arousal spiked drastically. The idea was freaking Kurt out. "I pretend it's you."

"Oh," Kurt said.

Then Blaine was on his back and Kurt was pressing a fierce to his lips. "Fuck, Blaine. I'm SO hot for you right now."

Blaine moaned and preened under the attentions of Kurt's mouth. He rutted up, pressing his half hard cock against Kurt's full hardness. Kurt ground right back, moaning and even growling in his arousal.

"You want me to fuck you," Kurt growled into Blaine's neck, accompanying his words with a particularly hard grind.

"Oh my god, Kurt. SO MUCH." He felt like all his dreams were coming true with just that one sentence.

"I need lube and a condom before I can fuck you, Blaine." Kurt bit down gently just above one of Blaine's nipples.

"In - my bag. I - thought I should - be prepared - just in case." Blaine panted and pushed his chest up higher. He wanted Kurt on his nipples.

"Stay right there, don't touch yourself," Kurt said. Then he licked over Blaine's nipple harshly and got up. Blaine whined at the loss of contact.

"I'm getting our supplies," Kurt assured him. He brushed back Blaine's hair and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Just lay back and wait for me."

Blaine lay back and stared at Kurt's ceiling. Happiness, anticipation and so many other good emotions were flying through him. He couldn't help the little giggle he let out. He wanted this SO bad.

"You're cute and sexy at the same time, I don't know how that works," Kurt said and the bed dipped with his added weight. "But let's worry about it later, alright?"

"Kurt, c'mon," Blaine complained. He spread his legs for Kurt to get between.

"I love you." Kurt shuffled until he was kneeling between Blaine's thighs. He leaned down and sucked at the hickey he'd left before. "So, you're going to have to help me out here, I don't want to hurt you."

"Put WAY more lube than you think you should, then go really slow, one finger at a time. I'll let you know when I'm ready for more." Blaine took a deep breath to calm the happy, nervous fluttering happening in his stomach. Then he bent his knees and spread them as wide as he could and still be comfortable.

He should feel exposed like this, but he was too excited too. And this was Kurt looking at him, Kurt had all of him already, it wasn't nerve racking to let the older boy see.

Kurt crawled up him and kissed him gently. "Really, don't hesitate to say if you don't like it."

"Really, Kurt, I don't think NOT liking it will be my problem." Blaine laughed and ran his fingers through Kurt's messy sex hair. "I might even come too soon."

Kurt smiled fondly and kissed him gently again. "Alright, let's see."

Kurt shuffled back on his heels and took a deep breath.

* * *

><p>When Kurt put the first finger in he was surprised by the heat of it. Someone doing this to himself didn't feel as hot, not that he'd really gotten far enough with himself to compare.<p>

Blaine moaned and shifted back onto his finger, face already coloured with pleasure. "Kurt, you've gotta move. Please move, Kurt. PLEASE."

Blaine begging was super hot, check. Tentatively Kurt moved his finger out and then back in. Blaine sighed with relief and rocked his hips down more. "Harder, Kurt. I can barely feel that."

Except Blaine's expression contradicted that. He felt it just fine, the greedy boy just wanted more.

A thrill ran through Kurt as he realized that Blaine truly liked this. It wasn't hurting him and he wanted MORE of it. Kurt thrust his finger in and out of Blaine harder and faster, several times in a row and then stopped.

Blaine practically cried in frustration. "No, no, no, Kurt. No, please, PLEASE don't do that. No, you have to go, move, please. PLEASE, Kurt."

Kurt couldn't help the somewhat evil smirk that lit up his face. He bit his lip to keep his evil giggle in. Instead he started up again, even faster than before. Blaine sang in relief.

"Kurt, more, more, please. Another finger, two, I really want two, Kurt. Please."

Kurt pulled his finger out despite Blaine's protesting noise, squirted more lube on it and spread it over another finger. He spread it a few times so it hopefully wouldn't be too cold.

Pushing two fingers into Blaine was harder than one. One finger slipped right in, but two required Kurt to push. One of Blaine's hands flew up to the headboard and pushed against it so Blaine's body slid down the bed and onto Kurt's finger.

Kurt's groin pulsed almost painfully. Fuck, it was SO hot. He might come before he got inside Blaine.

Inside Blaine.

Kurt's head fell forward onto one of Blaine's knees. "Blaine." Kurt moaned.

He pushed his fingers in harder this time and Blaine shouted. It was beautiful. He did it again, faster. Blaine howled. Kurt LOVED Blaine's noises.

"Scissor - them. Spread your fingers out." Blaine managed to speak between all his variations of a moan.

Kurt, ever the fast study, did as told.

The result made Kurt REALLY glad that the house was empty. He would have DIED of embarrassment if Blaine shrieked like that with other's present.

"More, Kurt. More." Blaine sounded so wrecked, so hot.

Kurt pushed a third finger in, enjoying the way Blaine's body opened up for him.  
>When it got a little easier to thrust his three fingers in Kurt spread them like he'd done with two.<p>

"Fuck me, Kurt, fuck me I'm ready." Blaine pushed hard against the headboard and Kurt's fingers went even deeper.

"Okay," Kurt said. He kissed Blaine's knee. "In a minute. I want to play with you first."

Blaine made a strange but somehow hot combination of a sob, a moan, and a growl.

Kurt removed all three fingers and then pushed two back in. "I haven't found your prostate yet. I hear that's supposed to feel really good."

He let his fingers press up and down, looking for the elusive gland. He'd kind of forgotten about it's existence until just then, but he was completely willing to pleasurably torture Blaine a little bit so he could see the reaction and fully appreciate it. If he was already inside Blaine Kurt didn't think he'd have the brain capacity to notice it as well.

After a few sweeps Kurt found it. Blaine tensed and then screamed. He'd never screamed before. It made Kurt's blood boil and his brain short circuit. Forget teasing, he was going to die if he wasn't in Blaine in the next five seconds.

He fumbled with the condom and couldn't get the fucking thing open. His fingers were too slippery from the lube.

"Kurt either get that fucking thing open right now or throw it across the room, just GET IN ME!" Blaine growled.

Kurt threw it. He spared a second to get some more lube on himself, fisting his cock a few more times than he probably should have. The contact made his eyes roll back into his head and his toes curl. He'd never been so turned on before.

"Kurt," Blaine whined.

Kurt didn't wait any longer. He hooked his arms under Blaine's thighs and hoisted him up. Blaine wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist, freeing up his hands so he could line them up.

The first press in made Kurt white out and made Blaine make his loudest, longest noise yet.

He'd meant to be nice, to let Blaine adjust to the feeling, but Kurt couldn't stop his hips from moving. He pushed in until he was fully sheathed and then nearly collapsed.

His breath was stolen and he could hardly see straight. SO GOOD. The pressure around his cock was delicious. He never wanted it to end.

"Kurt, don't move," Blaine rasped below him and the sound of his voice brought Kurt back down to earth enough that he could see Blaine instead of white.

"Okay." Kurt's breath was short and high. "This feels so fucking good, I have no idea how you stopped before."

Blaine laughed and that did AMAZING things to the way he was clamped around Kurt. "You were crying. That's an amazing boner killer."

"Oh my god, don't talk about bonerkillers to me right now. I need those to still work later and if you talk to me right now all I'll be able to think about is this." Kurt groaned and hung his head. He was kind of amazed at himself, he still hadn't moved. Although he REALLY wanted too.

"Kurt, I think... Move REALLY slowly." Kurt barely heard it, too caught up in his own feelings.

Still, he tried his best to comply, even though what he really wanted was to pound Blaine into the mattress. He thrusted slow and shallow for a little while, trembling the whole time. Only the effort to not hurt Blaine was keeping him from coming.

Blaine was forcing himself to breath steadily and that was AMAZING around Kurt's cock. He was SO close to just losing any second.

"More, Kurt. I want more," Blaine said finally. The noise Kurt let out was victorious and embarrassing as hell. He didn't give a fuck!

His hips let go, moving faster and harder, sliding his cock in and out of Blaine deliciously. Blaine grunted and his legs tightened around Kurt's waist. "Kurt, too fast, too fast."

But Kurt's control was gone, he TRIED to stop his hips but they wouldn't. Blaine's legs slipped down to curl around Kurt's hips and the angle changed.

Suddenly Blaine's heels were digging into Kurt's ass and lower back and Blaine's head slammed back against the pillow. "Oh fuck, right there. Oh fuck!"

It only encouraged Kurt to move faster.

He wanted Blaine's prostate he thought suddenly. He WANTED it. It had been more down than he'd thought it was going to be and... Kurt tried shifting the angle, pulling Blaine's body the way he wanted him.

No.

He pulled him a little more.

Blaine SCREAMED!

Found it.

He managed one more thrust, dead on, before Blaine's entire body constricted and the younger boy was coming. Kurt couldn't hold on anymore. Just that little bit of tightening and he was gone. 

* * *

><p>Blaine passed out. He'd never passed out during an orgasm before. He'd been dazed and sleepy, but never full on passed out.<p>

He woke up to Kurt collapsed on his stomach and laughing lightly. Before Kurt realized he was awake the older boy nuzzled into Blaine's stomach and kissed it wetly.

"Kurt."

The boy in question looked up at him, eyes bright and happy. "Welcome back, sleepy."

Blaine groaned. "I love you." He could barely feel embarrassed, he was too sated.

"I love you too."

Kurt pulled himself slowly into a kneeling position. The movement alerted Blaine to the fact that they were still connected.

Kurt winced at the movement, no doubt oversensitive. Slowly he pulled out and Blaine couldn't help but whimper at the loss. He felt so empty now without Kurt in him.

Kurt managed to lift himself up enough to flop down next to Blaine at eye level. "I am so tired."

A yawn burst through Blaine. "Me too, clearly."

"We can sleep a little I think." Kurt's eyes slid closed and he hummed contently.

"You don't even care that I'm covered in come do you?" Blaine asked although, truthfully, he didn't care right then either.

"I brought you - a washcloth before." Kurt said between yawns, still with his eyes shut. "On the nightstand."

Blaine REALLY didn't want to move, but he also didn't want to wake up covered in come. With energy he didn't know the source of, Blaine retrieved the washcloth, cleaned up his stomach, and then laid back down next to Kurt. He couldn't really do anything about the come still inside him.

Blaine's eyes popped open. "Oh my fucking god. We just had sex bareback."

Kurt hummed in his sleepy state. "Shh, sleep now. Talk later."

He was so cute like that. "Okay, but we NEED to talk about that when we wake up."

"Okay." Kurt hummed again and nuzzled into his pillow. Blaine shifted so he was closer to Kurt and the older boy reached out with sleepy grabby hands. 

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><p>They woke up twisted up in each other, still completely naked, and content.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Blaine felt really gross when he woke up. He was sticky all over and he DESPERATELY wanted a shower the second he attempted movement. He deliberated trying to move slowly so Kurt wouldn't wake up, but then he remembered whose come was causing his grossness and he couldn't care.

He'd just gotten to his feet when Kurt woke up, whining at the loss of Blaine's body heat. "Where are you going?"

"I'm kind of gross right now, I need to shower." Blaine spared a moment to kiss Kurt's forehead. He just looked so cute when he was sleepy.

Kurt blinked at him slowly. Then he started getting up. "Wait for me."

Surprise shot through Blaine. "You're coming with me?"

"Yeah, we REALLY don't have anything to hide from each other anymore and you messed up all my bottles last time I let you use my shower." Kurt yawned and wrapped an arm over Blaine's shoulders. "Besides, I think you'd look sexy all wet."

"Okay, just... let me get a little clean first, I'm REALLY uncomfortable right now." Blaine slipped away and tried not to think about what his backside looked like as he scurried to Kurt's shower. Kurt followed him sluggishly. The water was warm and Blaine was just stepping under the hot spray.

Kurt pushed the curtain aside and climbed in behind him and sighed. "You're so hot first thing when I wake up. I like looking at you."

Clearly Kurt wasn't fully awake yet. He would NEVER so candidly say that if he was. Blaine gave a short laugh and reached for Kurt's loofa. Maybe later Kurt would yell at him for getting it gross, but Blaine figured it was only fair considering who had topped.

All of a sudden Blaine was aware of the ache in his ass. He'd gotten a bit used to the stretched, achy feeling since he'd began playing with himself in that way, but it had NEVER been like this before. He'd never felt so sore.

Just like that it was almost too much effort to stand upright. He slumped against the wall and weakly held out the loofa under the spray.

"No, let me do it." Kurt gently took it from him. "I want to wash you."

Blaine had no idea what to classify the noise he made as. Kurt fiddled with some bottles until he was satisfied with the soap content on the loofa and then came forward, joining Blaine under the spray and towering.

Oh Kurt was so hot when he towered. Kurt's hands were gentle, rubbing soft circles into his skin with the scratchy loofa. He pressed a kiss to Blaine's shoulder after he'd scrubbed it. Then he moved on to Blaine's arms and stomach.

"I'm not that dirty there," Blaine whispered.

"I know." Kurt swooped to press a kiss just above Blaine's left nipple. Then Kurt was lowering onto his knees and Blaine's cock stirred with interest just from the sight. Kurt worked the loofa down Blaine's legs and around his knees. Then he brought it up between Blaine's legs, cleaning some of the mess on his inner thighs.

"Kurt," Blaine whined.

"Shh, baby." Kurt kissed his hip and then FINALLY let his hands go to Blaine's cock. He only used his hands, of which Blaine was grateful, instead of the loofa for this Gently Kurt stroked Blaine's cock, using the soap as lubricant. "I love you," Kurt murmured and then kissed the very tip of Blaine's cock. "Now turn around."

Blaine MOANED, the sound echoing all around the shower. He twirled around as quickly as he could, nearly slipping in the process.

"You need to spread your legs more." Kurt left the loofa on the ground, instead soaping his hands and sliding them up Blaine's outer thighs. Blaine did as told. "There you go, baby."

Slowly Kurt worked his hands over the globes of Blaine's ass, cleaning him and kneading the muscle. Blaine's knees were starting to wobble when Kurt gently pulled the halves apart and swiped his thumbs up Blaine's ass.

Blaine let out an inhuman noise and nearly collapsed against the wall. He was SO sore, but it still felt SO good. "Kurt, I can't... You have to..."

"Shh, shh," Kurt urged. Suddenly Kurt's face was pressing against one of Blaine's ass cheeks. "I've got you."

Quickly and efficiently Kurt cleaned the last of the leftover come off Blaine, dipping his fingers in Blaine's sore hole just enough to get the last of it. All the while he rubbed his cheek slightly against Blaine's ass. "I love you," Kurt said when he was done. Then he turned his face and kissed the middle of each of Blaine's ass cheeks. He bit down gently on the second one. "So much."

Blaine couldn't talk. His cock was hard and he was floating in a flood of love and care. He'd never known being taken care of in this way could make him feel as good as he was. He'd never understood before.

"Hey," Kurt said. When did he get in front of him? "Come here."

Then they were kissing softly and Blaine could feel Kurt hard against his hip. He clung to the older boy tighter. He felt so connected to him, like nothing could ever tear them apart. It was intoxicating.

Blaine barely even noticed when Kurt snuck a hand between them to grasp both their cocks. Only the increase in pleasure made him tune in. But soon he was tuning back out, caught up in a loop of love and pleasure and comfort. He came softly, contently, shortly before Kurt, moaning softly into the other boy's mouth.

They let the water wash away the mess and kissed until they had to pull away for breath. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," Blaine said.

"The feeling's mutual." Kurt kissed his forehead. Then he perked, his entire body jolting. "Oh, I get to try the curly hair shampoo I bought for you." Kurt's voice was full of excitement. "Stay." Then Kurt was ripping the shower curtain side and bouncing carefully out of the shower.

He returned quickly, beating the sound of the cabinet slamming shut. "Get your hair wet Blaine, we're doing an experiment."

* * *

><p>Blaine kindly let Kurt do his hair, if Kurt had to cajole him into it, well that was just a bonus for Kurt's persuasion skills. The experiment was, by Kurt's estimation, a success. He LOVED the silkiness of Blaine's curls and the way they fell gracefully all over the place. Kurt sighed as he looked at his work. Blaine's curls were sexy.<p>

And they held possibilities. Kurt could probably wind his fingers in them and PULL and Blaine would still look fine after a few swipes of his hand through his hair. In fact, Kurt pushed his fingers into Blaine's hair, he was 100% willing to test that hypothesis.

"Kurt," Blaine shook his head, trying to gently dislodge Kurt's fingers. "It's already all loose and fly away, don't mess it up."

"You're more anal about your hair than I am about mine." Kurt stubbornly kept his hands in place, digging his fingers in gently. Blaine groaned slightly in the back of his throat. Success.

"You're the one who has to fix it when it's terrible though." Blaine caved and it was beautiful.

"Alright, challenge accepted." Kurt started pulling gently, loving the feel of it.

Blaine sighed and settled. They were back to lying on Kurt's bed, sheets changed and clean. They'd put clothes on in case somebody came home and burst in on them unannounced, and were happily lazing in each other's arms.

"We need to talk about the whole bareback thing," Blaine said eventually.

Kurt groaned. Did they really need too? "We're both clean, we were virgins before each other."

"That's not the only reason to use a condom, Kurt." Blaine moved so he was propped up on Kurt's chest and could look at him. Kurt's hands raked through his hair silently.

"And you can't get pregnant." Kurt grinned.

"Kurt," Blaine said with a sigh and rolled his eyes. "At the very least, we have to address the messiness issue."

Kurt sighed. "If we don't have a lot of guaranteed alone time, we'll use a condom. Happy?"

"You liked it without then? You'd prefer it that way?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know!" Kurt shrugged. "We've only done it once, how am I supposed to know if I like one way better than another. Besides, if we're just talking about it being messy, I liked the clean up part." Kurt rubbed his fingers into Blaine's scalp much like he'd done when he was working the special shampoo in earlier. "We ARE just talking about the messiness right? It doesn't freak you out or anything?"

Blaine shrugged. "I don't know yet. It was fine this time, but I'm not sure if it'll be okay all the time. Let's just... have the condoms just in case. In case we don't have the time for everything or one of us gets creeped out by the technicalities of it."

"Sounds good." Kurt hummed happily. "Now, on a totally different note. How's your ass? It looked alright I guess, but I noticed you limping a bit earlier."

Blaine flushed and a bright smile dawned on his face. "My ass is fine, your thorough inspection helped actually. Especially the massage part, I loved that." He leaned down to kiss Kurt's chest through his shirt. "I even didn't mind you biting me."

"I couldn't help it. I've always been curious, ever since Mushu did it." Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled. Blaine laughed, as desired, and nuzzled into Kurt's chest. "For the record, it wasn't vile. I actually kind of liked it."

"Good to know I'm cleaner than cartoon Chinese men."

"Agreed."

"How about you, you liked topping? I know you didn't really want to do penetration before."

Kurt scoffed. "Blaine, I've never liked something so much. I think it's my new favorite thing. I sure as HELL hope your prepared to do that as often as we can, I think I might be addicted."

Blaine laughed. "Good, me too."


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: This will be the only time I address this and I'm only doing so because it's happened three times this story. I seem to have acquired a hater. **

**To that person leaving the hateful remarks, let me remind you, you are under no obligation to read. Whether that be my fanfiction or non-scholarly reading in general. You get the choice of your pass-times and leaving the types of comments you have left is utterly pointless. I simply delete them. I am only addressing you now because your persistence is puzzling. The first time I, hardly, understand your indulgence in the need to hate. However, further comments on later chapters has simply endeared you further to the ranks of the superfluous and ridiculous.**

**Anyway, to everyone who has been a considerate audience, I give you more fic.**

* * *

><p>Sometime after their one year anniversary but before the AWFUL April Fool's day prank Blaine attempted to pull on him, Kurt started thinking about trying to bottom again. It wasn't a conscious thing at first, just a vague thought here and there, until those vague thoughts got more graphic and his hands were wandering down to the ignored opening without actually touching during his alone time.<p>

Then Blaine started pulling away from him and Kurt forgot the thought entirely. The Chandler/Whitney debacle happened and Nationals drew closer. So did Kurt's NYADA audition.

It was with the adrenaline of the performance and the praise still running through his veins that Kurt pulled Blaine into the school parking lot, pushed him almost violently into his car, and drove home a tad too quickly to be legal. Kurt almost didn't care if his parents were home or not. Luckily both were still out for approximately another two hours.

"Sam, get out of the house, I'm horny and Blaine's here." Kurt announced without any tack or shame as he burst into the guest room the blond boy was occupying. Sam raised his eyebrows.

"So good audition then?"

Blaine giggled and Kurt looked back for a second to see the younger boy's face was bright red, but he was smiling widely. "So good, he was amazing! She loved him!" Blaine gushed for him.

"So go away and don't come back for at least two hours," Kurt finished for his boyfriend and directed the best glare he could manage at Sam.

"Alright, give me five minutes." Sam got to his feet and started gathering things so he could leave.

Kurt left then, not caring AT ALL if Sam was gone or not when they started. The blond wouldn't be around for the big act and Kurt REALLY wanted to kiss Blaine.

He dragged Blaine into his room and shoved the younger boy against the door roughly to close it. "Fuck, I love you," Blaine said with a gasp.

"Good." Kurt grinned happily and dove in. Kurt's hands went for Blaine's shirt, pulling it up and out of his pants. Blaine's sure, hot hands went for Kurt's ass, still inclosed in the tight gold pants.

"I hope you saved the rip away pants, we NEED to play with those." Blaine licked the shell of Kurt's ear, straining up on his tip toes to reach properly. "They were your best idea EVER."

"Shh, just let me kiss you, talk later." Kurt pushed himself away and ripped his shirt off his body. Blaine whined. Then they were kissing again.

Blaine dug his fingers into Kurt's ass, whining and panting into Kurt's neck. "I want you SO bad. These pants are amazing too. All your pants drive me insane."

"What did I JUST say about talking?" Kurt whispered but there was no heat in it. He LIKED Blaine's praise, even if he wouldn't always admit it. It made Blaine squirm and try to compliment him more effectively whenever Kurt rebuffed him. Sometimes Kurt thought Blaine redoubled his efforts BECAUSE he knew Kurt was just rejecting so he could hear more. It was definitely something Blaine would do.

"Don't?" Blaine moved his hands to Kurt's waistband and slipped his fingers under. He got his fingers in to the knuckles and he couldn't move them anymore, there was no more room. "Skintight jeans, Kurt." Blaine moaned. "What you do to me, fuck."

Kurt pushed away and walked backwards towards his bed. He popped open the button of his nearly too tight pants and undid the zipper. With the extra room his erection popped out and it made Kurt moan. "Come and get me."

Blaine grinned. He removed his shirt and practically ripped his pants off. Left only in his briefs Blaine pounced. They fell against the bed in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Blaine's forehead bumped into Kurt's shoulder and they bounced awkwardly as they landed.

Quickly Blaine scrambled up so he was laying on top of Kurt properly and they could kiss easily. Then he rolled them so Kurt was on top and Blaine's hands went, as if drawn by magnets, to Kurt's ass. They slipped under the now loose fabric and under Kurt's briefs. Kurt's eyes slid closed at the contact. Blaine rarely touched him there, as if he was afraid Kurt would freak out on him again, and the contact was new and exciting.

Kurt wanted more of it. MUCH more of it.

"I want you to fuck me," Kurt said, eyes still closed, and then latched onto Blaine's collar bone and started sucking harshly.

Blaine gasped and pressed his chest up closer to Kurt's mouth, fingers digging pleasantly into Kurt's ass. Then he froze. "What?"

Kurt lifted his head and opened his eyes, finding Blaine's and holding them. He took a deep breath to steady himself. "I want you to fuck me."

Blaine blinked at him slowly, clearly processing what Kurt had just said. "You want me to top? That's what you're saying right now?"

Kurt nodded. "Yes."

Blaine's eyes closed and his entire body shivered. "Are you sure? You're not just saying that, you're ABSOLUTELY sure? We have a history with this position and it's NOT good. I need to know you're sure."

Kurt opened his mouth to say yes immediately but then closed it again. WAS he sure? He hadn't really thought about it before he'd said it. Sure it'd been on his mind a while ago, but he'd never gotten the courage up to touch himself there again. He'd been afraid that his reaction would still be the same, even though he'd now had SEVERAL examples of how good it could be to be touched that way.

Kurt thought about Blaine's hands, still on his ass, slipping down and circling around his opening, pushing in and stretching and preparing. He imagined how it would feel to let his legs hook over Blaine's shoulders and have the younger boy fold him in half so they could still kiss as they fucked.

No, made love. Corny as it seemed, Kurt could CALL it fucking, and sometimes even THINK of it as fucking, but it never FELT like that. It never felt meaningless to be with Blaine no matter what they were doing.

"I'm sure. I want you to make love to me." Kurt coloured at his words. They were corny and embarrassing, but they were also the truth. They'd promised, officially, to tell each other EVERYTHING, good and bad. This was definitely included.

Blaine smiled softly. "I can do that."

Soon they were naked and Kurt was laying on his back, Blaine kneeling between his legs. Warm hands rubbed up and down Kurt's outer thighs until they finally curled around to rub where Kurt's legs ended and his pelvis began. Blaine's fingers danced lightly over Kurt's cock and down around his balls. He cupped them lightly and rolled them once, enjoying the noise Kurt let out if the look on his face was anything to judge by. "I love you," Blaine said and kissed the inside of Kurt's left knee. "So much."

"I love you too." Despite what happened the last time they were in about to do this, Kurt felt calm and serene. Being with Blaine this way felt comfortable and natural. Kurt let his eyes slip shut, content.

When Blaine's fingers finally lowered to circle Kurt's hole Kurt sighed and let his legs drift farther apart. Blaine seemed encouraged by this and his fingers got bolder. They dipped in, not even really breeching him, and anticipation was the only thing Kurt felt.

"Get the lube," Kurt said with another content sigh. He wiggled a little so he was more comfortable and waited.

Lube was cold, colder than Kurt remembered. It felt different on his hands than it did on his ass. Blaine rubbed it around Kurt's entrance, barely putting any pressure on his entrance. "Is this still okay? You're still fine?"

"I'm perfect, Blaine." Kurt wasn't lying in the slightest. He felt perfectly fine with everything happening. His only wish was that Blaine would move a TAD quicker.

When Blaine finally DID push in, however, Kurt's mind was wiped blank. It felt weird, but not in a bad way. Memories of last time started to surface but then Blaine moved his fingers in an obviously practiced way and the memories faded to nothing. Kurt was there, in the moment, and the moment felt kind of good.

"How does it feel? By this point I would have kicked you for moving so slow. I just wanted to make sure you're alright though, so please don't get any ideas." Blaine pumped his finger in slowly, entering at a slightly different angle each time to open Kurt up.

"I might get ideas if you go this slow the entire time, but I'm good for now," Kurt answered. "It feels a little odd, not bad though. Just weird. I hope it gets better, I'm not fully sure if I'll like it yet."

Blaine hummed. "I think you're ready for another finger, do you feel ready?"

Kurt shrugged. "I think, I'll let you know if you should stop."

As Blaine got more lube Kurt realized something. He'd never been able to have a full conversation like this during sex before. It was kind of strange and vaguely exciting at the same time. Usually his brain was fuzzy almost immediately, as it had been not ten minutes before, and he could barely think in fragments, let alone speak full sentences. He figured some people would think that meant he wasn't into it, but he WAS. He might not be sure if he liked what they were doing yet, but just being naked around Blaine with the promise of sex, of any kind apparently, had Kurt's full attention.

Blaine pushed another finger in and the stretch was slightly painful. Not the wrenching pain from the last time, but a slight sting. THAT wasn't doing anything for Kurt, but the way Blaine's fingers started moving made his breath catch.

"I like that. Move faster." Kurt shifted his hips down further onto Blaine's fingers, wanting more of the feeling.

Blaine chuckled and said he would do it. Then his fingers quickened and Kurt's eyes slid closed and his head fell back against the pillows harshly. Kurt got lost in it, the drag of Blaine's fingers and the heat of the boy between his legs. He got so lost, in fact, that he barely noticed the way Blaine was stretching him. The pain of the stretching was being drowned out by the pleasure of movement. Kurt didn't even notice he was whining and shifting his hips down onto Blaine's fingers until Blaine put his free hand on Kurt's hip to still him.

"Shh, it's alright. I need to add another finger though, you're ready and I'm kind of dying." Blaine leaned away and Kurt saw him grab for the lube bottle.

"Hurry," Kurt rasped. His hole pulsed and ached, suddenly MUCH too empty. He wanted Blaine's fingers back in him, moving and pushing and filling him so beautifully.

"Shh," Blaine kissed his hips. "Give me a second." Then three of Blaine's fingers were positioned at his entrance and pushing in and Kurt didn't even mind the extra bit of pain, he was being filled again.

Soon Kurt was panting and aching and he forced his eyes open, staring at Blaine's face and saying the younger boy's name until he got Blaine's attention. "I'm ready, please." Kurt nodded as he spoke, needing Blaine to believe him.

Blaine laughed breathlessly. "Okay, okay." Blaine took a deep breath. "Condom or no?"

"No. I want to feel you, and then we'll be even for first times doing this." Kurt lifted one leg so it rested on Blaine's shoulder. "Feel free to bend him in half, as I've taught you, I'm quite flexible."

Blaine moaned and rushed forward to kiss him harshly. The burn of the stretch in Kurt's thigh was brilliant. Blaine, it seemed, had learned to multitask, for when he pulled away from the kiss he was able to line his newly lubed up cock with Kurt's hole.

"One hundred percent good?" Blaine asked, rubbing the head of his cock around Kurt's entrance.

"Now you're just teasing me," Kurt growled and wrapped his other leg around Blaine's waist. "Get to it."

Blaine grinned wryly. "Yes, Master."

Then he pushed in, cutting Kurt's retort of 'Glad you finally learned who's boss' off before he could even open his mouth. The blunt pressure of Blaine's cock was different than his fingers. It was thicker, more insistent.

It also wasn't the phantom pulse of pain that Kurt remembered and had feared from their last encounter. He was properly prepped now, ready for the intrusion and kind of panting for it. Blaine kept pushing in, not stopping until he bottomed out, and Kurt's eyes rolled back in his head.

It felt GOOD! Almost too much, he DEFINITELY needed a minute to adjust to this. Blaine shuttered above him, sweating and panting. Kurt flashed back to his first time in Blaine's position, the way he'd felt so close to coming he was almost vibrating with need. He remembered how hard it had been not to move, how hard it sometimes still was not to begin moving immediately.

Blaine's jaw was clenched and his entire body was tense and nearly still. His only movement was the slight rock of his hips, barely half an inch. Kurt tightened his legs around Blaine, trying to help keep the younger boy still while he adjusted to the intense pressure.

"Kurt, please," Blaine begged, his voice breathless and high. "I know it's a lot, but please." Blaine's head fell forward and a few escaped curls brushed Kurt's chest. "Please,"

Something in Kurt shivered, unhappy for causing Blaine to use that helpless tone of voice, but another part of him thrilled. Blaine was desperate for him, and that NEVER got old. "Slowly, slow as you can. I know it's hard for you too."

Blaine's hips moved too fast, much like Kurt's had, but it wasn't terrible. "I'm sorry," Blaine said as he panted and shook. He stopped his hips with his cock nearly out of Kurt, but that was a bad move. The most sensitive part of Blaine was trapped in the tightest spot. Blaine thrust back in almost instantly, moaning loudly and tightening his hold on Kurt's hips.

"Blaine," Kurt whined. It was too much, too much. But it also wasn't' enough at the same time. "Faster."

It was all the encouragement Blaine needed. With a chorus of moans, somehwat laced with discomfort but mostly of pleasure, Blaine let go.

It took a few thrusts for Blaine's pace to stop being painful laced with pleasure and start being pleasure laced with pain. It took even more thrusts for the pain to be so minimal it was almost nonexistent. When that happened Kurt dug his heels in and started trying to meet Blaine's thrusts. It was awkward and he failed more times than he succeeded, but every time he did it was like a burst of pure pleasure.

It was heady, this type of sex. As Blaine pounded into him Kurt's eyes slid shut and his fingers tightened around Blaine's biceps. "Kiss me," Kurt whispered. Blaine leaned forward, folding Kurt further in half, and pressed their lips together. Kurt keened into the kiss. "Oh fuck, Blaine, there, there, there!"

Kurt's entire body tensed. "There, there, there," he whined. White fire was burning the back of Kurt's eyelids and rushing through his veins. Blaine had found his prostate. "Blaine, I'm..."

"Me too," Blaine said, his voice breathless and harsh with holding back for so long. "Kurt." It was an almost pitiful noise, but it turned Kurt on so much. Blaine's thrust into him harder than before, dead on, and Kurt came, hard and sudden.

Blaine screamed as Kurt's body tightened around him and managed one ore thrust before he came, come spurting up into Kurt's receptive body.

They both floated high on their orgasm clouds, clutching each other tightly and breathing harshly in each others ears. Slowly, ever so slowly, they came down together, melting together in a slightly uncomfortable heap they were too tired to move away from.

However, the position finally got uncomfortable enough that Kurt forced Blaine to move. Blaine struggled into a kneeling position and then slowly pulled himself out of Kurt's body. All the way out the slow drag made sparks of oversensitive pleasure race up and down Kurt's spine.

Then he was empty and he found himself suddenly fighting the urge to cry for Blaine to put it back in. Instead he wound himself around Blaine tightly, ignoring the way his body protested in it's sluggishness, and buried his face in Blaine's neck. "I miss you."

Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. "I know what you mean." He kissed Kurt's forehead.

They were quite for a while, long enough that Kurt though Blaine might have fallen asleep. "You liked it?" Blaine asked, proving him wrong.

Kurt giggled lightly. "Yes, very much."

"More than topping?" There was a hint of something like disappointment in Blaine's voice.

Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck and pressed a lingering kiss there. "Maybe," Kurt teased. Blaine made an unconscious noise of unhappiness in the back of his throat, so quiet Kurt wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't so close. "But probably not. I like watching you loose it too much."

Blaine's body relaxed, relief evident in his every muscle. "Good, because as much as I REALLY liked that, I'd miss bottoming fiercely if you wanted to do it all the time."

Kurt giggled and scrapped his teeth lightly on the spot he was sucking on Blaine's neck. "I can live with that. I'm more than fine being a top for you."

"And I'm happy being a switch for you." Blaine pressed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head. "Just let me bottom more."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm going to have to buy you a dildo before I go to New York aren't I?"

Blaine shuttered and laughed. "Only if it's bright purple and one of those casting kit ones, so it's shaped like you! You're my favorite cock in the whole wide world."

Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes again. "You're incorrigible."

"You love me anyway."

Kurt smiled and lifted his head up to look into Blaine's eyes. "I love you anyway."

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><p><strong>AN: And that, dear pups, is the end. No, idk why I'm calling you pups right now, I just am. And that is all I've got folks. Okay, so now you're folks. I'm apparently confused, but I think it's that I FINALLY finished this. AFTER SO LONG IT'S DONE! Woot!<br>Anyway, Read and Review please! Thanks for reading this.**


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